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I can't do two things at once 

A fact known to all men and universally discredited by women.
"The dog needs to go out, right away" she said, as he was balancing on the top of rung the ladder, not only changing the bulb but cradling the fragile glass globe. "And please take the towels out of the dryer, before they start to smell moldy."

"I can't do two things at once" he replied, but she could not hear him, polishing her nails, talking to her mother on the phone and finalizing the Etsy order for Kleenex box holders, reminding him... "I need you to tell me which of these patterns you prefer".

In life, two things are inevitable 

In life, two things are inevitable: Death & Taxes. Everyone has you pay for their life.

My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself 

Possibly the best non-joke pickup line of all time
Girl: I just don't know if I'm ready for a relationshipment.
Boy: Hey cmon. My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself.

two-thingsism

a two-things racist
comment. mostly told to centars.
Axe commercial were centar refers to two-thingsism

know a thing or two

Boy does she know a thing or two about politics.

《¤》I《¤》Am《¤》Thing《¤》One《¤》And《¤》I《¤》Am《¤》Thing《¤》Two《¤》 

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《¤》I《¤》Am《¤》Thing《¤》One《¤》And《¤》I《¤》Am《¤》Thing《¤》Two《¤》