A pretty kick-ass series.

With the exception of "vegetarian" vampires. And "over-protecive, controlling"
boyfriend.

Oh and don't forget the "normal" he falls in love with.

Twilight
Over-protective Vampire- No. You will not see him again. You'll get hurt!


"Normal" Girl- No I won't! *stomps foot*
by NikiZee April 18, 2009
A pornographic novel celebrated by teenage idiots with no lives or brains. Anyone with half a mind can see how cliche, unrealistic, and mormon this novel is. It's basically Stephenie Meyer's sad view on what she wishes her life could be like. It's more of an add for abstinence and religion than an actually readable novel.

The story follows BELLA SWAN, a seventeen year old slut, who moves from Arizona to the little town of Forks, Washington. It obvious from the get-go that BELLA would more realistically be named Stephenie, because it's clear to all that she's just a self-insert. Anyways, BELLA is moving to give her mother and new stepfather some room to herself. This is an uncharacteristically mature decision that illustrates what a brat BELLA is.

When BELLA arrives at Forks High School, all of the male students immediately fall in love with her. No kidding, she has about five prom invitations by the end of chapter two. She is thrown into popularity and embraced by everyone but one girl, LAUREN, who is immediately shunned and never heard from again. The only person (other than LAUREN, of course) that doesn't seem to capture her attention is the absolutely radiant EDWARD CULLEN, a vegetarian vampire with "radiant, flashing" teeth the size of a pickaxe. Okay, not that big, but by the end of chapter three, you kind of begin to wonder whether Stephenie Meyer has a teeth fetish.

In EDWARD'S vampire clan live ALICE, an itsy bitsy yet absolutely perfect vampire, ROSALIE, a very tall yet absolutely perfect vampire, EMMETT, a very muscular yet absolutely perfect vampire, JASPER, a very sensitive yet absolutely perfect vampire, CARLISLE, a very compassionate yet absolutely perfect vampire, and ESME, who is, honestly, kind of is an obedient wife. Oh, no, that isn't totally overdone, Stephenie!

So, there BELLA is, wondering what she could possibly do to have offended EDWARD so much, when all of a sudden he falls in love with her! He then confesses that he is a vampire, and saves her from being raped from a bunch of kick-ass homeless guys. Because that, apparently, is what vampires do in their spare time.

So, after falling in luuuuurve with BELLA, EDWARD delivers the now infamous line that has pre-teen girls and sad-excuses-for-life-forms all over the world squealing fangirlishly. "You are my life now."

Did I mention anywhere that at this point in the novel, EDWARD begins sneaking into BELLA'S bedroom at night, not looking for cheap thrills like any self respecting man, but to watch her talk in her sleep. Can you say, "stalker"? I think that Stephenie Meyer may have suffered from molestation at some point in her life.

Now then, EDWARD takes her to meet the family, all of whom squeal and complement her in a way that completely flusters poor ole BELLA, who then acts clumsy and endears herself more to the reader. EDWARD then takes advantage of BELLA, convincing her to go play baseball with him and his family. They go play baseball. Whoop-de-friggin'-doo.

While playing baseball, the pivitol plot point happens. Thank god, because nothing else is going on. A group of stray vampire come along and smell BELLA. Yes, BELLA. Out of all of the possible human beings in the area, BELLA is the most attractive to them. Surprise, surprise, no?

EDWARD gets all growly and up in your face with JAMES, the leader of the other coven. JAMES goes into a feeding frenzy, and the CULLENS are forced to escape with BELLA. When ALICE, JASPER, and BELLA are at an airport in Phoenix, BELLA suffers another moment of maturity and runs away from her vampire guardians to take JAMES on on her own. This results with BELLA lying moaning on the floor of a dance studio, JAMES on top of her. It's never really made clear whether he's trying to suck her blood or if he's trying to get it on with her.

Just as it looks likes it's curtains for BELLA, EDWARD flies into the dance studio and begins battling JAMES. Amazingly enough, he wins. Who would have thought, huh?

BELLA has been bitten by JAMES, and the venom is slowly spreading throughout her body. EDWARD, for some reason, must suck out all of the venom before she becomes a vampire. Not CARLISLE, not ESME, but EDWARD.

EDWARD sucks out the venom. BELLA and EDWARD attend the prom together. EDWARD leans in and murmurs something along the lines of "You're my soulmate, Bella!" They kiss. The book ends.

Book 2 is called New Moon. I won't go into great detail about it, but somewhere in the second chapter, Edward says, "Suck it, Bella. I don't like you anymore. Bye, bitch!"
Bella then spends the remaining 32 chapters angsting about her teethy little vampire buddy. That is, when she isn't making out with her younger man, a werewolf named Jacob.

Twilight Fangirl: OMC! Edward is TEH WINZ!!! Luv! <3! SQUEE!
Twilight Fangirl #2: OMC, I know! 11!! 1!!! !1! EDWID fow PWEZIDENT!
Smart person: Um, you guys know that Twilight's just a way for a Mormon housewife to angst about the life she's always wished that she had, right?
Twilight Fangirl #1: Shu'up! You don't know NUTHIN bout my EDDIE-POO
Twilight Fangirl #2: Back away from my Jakey, BEEEE-OTCH!
by San-V-Sharp April 06, 2009
A book by Stephenie Meyer with an 108 year old vampire who can sparkle who fell in love with an 18 year old schoolgirl (I find a VERY big age difference between them)
Edward Cullen"I was born in 1901"

Bella *nods*

Fangirl: wow but your still hot

Me:HE DOESN'T FUCKING AGE AND HE SPARKLES EWWWW TWILIGHT IS WEIRDDDD
by ARandomGirlInARandomWorld October 14, 2009
I must admit that Twilight is a bit of the craze atm and alot of people are saying that the book is crap, but i dont believe that, i've read them and i think there fantastic. They can get very addicting.

Not everyone is a classic 'Edward Cullen' Fan, He plays a great roll though. They say it has no plot or its pretty pathetic ruins the whole series for people. but really, we all have our love stories where we would do anything for anyone we love, its no different to any normal human being.

Some people do believe it is naturally just a good love story not just all about Edward, and by people putting up stuff sayings it crap and pathetic, i mean have half of the people who say bad stuff about it actually read all the books? Or are they just saying it because there over everyone saying 'OMG Edward is Hot' ?

They also say he's the popular hot guy when really he may be hot but he isn't really popular, he is always with his family and only parts when he meets bella.

I think people should really give Stephanie Meyer a little bit more credit.
Everyone has there own beliefs and cultures and so does she. Plus if vampires arent really real then wats the difference in someone making a different version on the beliefs of vampires.?
Just because it isnt the same as the normal blood sucking horror movie
vampire cultures.

Stephanie Meyer shares her own creative side to things, she's an imaginative writer, its just fiction, think people should really get over it.
Just another love story.
Get Passed the Edward Cullen Part and move on. Twilight is really a great series.
by E_k.m-o May 21, 2009
THE BEST movie and book ever(:
everyone who reads this and watches this will fall in love like Edward and Bella. Stephanie Meyer is a phenomenal writer, she wrote any other books that were as good as this (:
In chapter 16 in the book Twilight she meets The Cullen's.
by brianna and tori February 12, 2009
A series by Stephenie Meyer that has sky-rocketed to stardom on account of a movie version of the first book.

The story revolves around two main characters, Bella and Edward, falling in love and subsequent misadventures.

Everybody here seems to be professing that they are examples of bad writing, however, there are not many valid reasons around.(also, if you can't spell or construct a sentence, I don't see how you can say that it is is badly written)
1. "OMG vampires SO don't sparkle! And she's totally stealing Anne Rice's idea of vampires who don't drink from humans." - So what if it's a new idea? Was the concept of vampires drinking from animals new? Yes. And Anne Rice stole a few herself.
2. The film is terrible, therefore the books are by association. I wouldn't actually know. I have refused to watch it for a number of reasons. It looks awful. The actors are lumps of wood with voices. I like the books too much.
3. They're too perfect, yet at the same time you say they are controlling, cheating, lying bastards. Well, really, too perfect? They are controlling. They are over the top. They are neutral characters in many ways, but they do have some flaws.
4. Character Development, lack of - I admit that they can be a little melodramatic, but it's fiction and you are meant to suspend belief. There is not much insight into thoughts and emotions, perhaps this is an example of a different STYLE not a bad one. Some people like to only hint at reasoning so you will have to figure it out yourself. Maybe this idea that there is someone perfect for you will encourage the "teenie-boppers" to stop being such sluts.
5. I'm not saying it should be a classic, I'm just giving a different opinion on it. I like it, I'm fifteen, I read and understand classics. I can discuss themes, issues, viewpoints, context, etc. ad nauseam. According to my teachers I am so good at english that I could get a top grade if I did the Leaving Cert now, they also think I should be doing English in University. Jane Austen's books are romantic, so is this. It is not as good, but it is enjoyable. Rightly so, a lot of time went into it.

(if it's badly written then why would it be addictive?)
Person 1: Anne Rice's descriptive style is so ravishing and artistic. I think she's the most novel and interesting writer ever. Twilight is a rip-off with bad writing.
Person 2: Actually, I thought that Rice was one of the worst acclaimed writers I've ever read. Her writing style leaves much to be desired. A plot for instance. I did, in contrast, find the under-rated ideas of love-at-first-sight and desperation in Twilight interesting. Though mainly I read them because they're actually enjoyable.
Person 1: I hated the movie though.
Person 2: That doesn't make the book crap does it? I haven't seen it anyway, I stayed home watching the Beeb's (BBC) Pride and Prejudice. It was really good, six hours and very true to the book.
by Night Girl March 14, 2009
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