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Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
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Twatchling 

Infant version of a bitch twat hybrid.
Why does that fucking cunt have to be such a twatchling?
Twatchling by Mine 88 May 2, 2010

poon-trenching 

The act of settling for the first girl (often grotesque) that speaks to you at a bar, with total disregard for the potential to achieve more attractive suitors. See also Vaginal Complacency
Joe's poon-trenching reached an all time high when he stood patronizing the 240 lb woman in the throwback Bullets jersey not 5 minutes after entering the bar.
poon-trenching by woodchipper April 29, 2008

Twatching 

Twatching — the act of experiencing an ongoing television show or event via live twitter monitoring, while avoiding the actual show or event.

People often engage in twatching when viewing a televised event — an award show, a debate, a congressional hearing, a sporting event or breaking news, for example — is too boring, irritating, upsetting or excruciating to watch live, so they choose, instead, to experience it in real time by following the hashtags and live tweeting of others.

Some people swear that twatching is often a better experience than watching.
“No, I’m not going to watch the Academy Awards, because when they’re not boring me with their cheesy numbers, they’re pissing me off with their criminally idiotic Oscar choices. But I’ll be twatching every minute, from the red carpet on.”
Twatching by jacandy December 19, 2019
Word of the Day on February 9, 2020
In fighting games, teching is defined as the process of recovering from hit stun sooner than you would normally by waiting it out.

In smash bros, it can be done by pressing the guard button a few frames before hitting the ground.

It will look as though the character catches themselves before they hit the ground and get back on their feet. It is an important skill when going up against a character with great power that delivers strong hit stun.
Neo was able to use teching to get out of that hit stun before JC could throw a more serious blow.
Teching by Huu December 26, 2013

thatching [thatch] 

thatched roof n : a house roof made with a plant material (as straw)
thatch n.
Plant stalks or foliage, such as reeds or palm fronds, used for roofing.
Something, such as a thick growth of hair on the head, that resembles thatch.
Dead turf, as on a lawn.
thatched, (To cover with thatch) thatching, thatches thatcher n. 
Middle English thacche, alteration (influenced by thecchen, thacchen, to thatch, from Old English theccan, to cover.  thaec, thatch), or thak from Old English thæc (Still sometimes used in the U.K. midlands as ‘thaker’ to describe a thatcher) the word is common to many Teutonic languages in the sense of " roof," " cover "; cf. Du. [dak, Ger. dach; from Du. dekken comes " deck"; the Indo-European root is stag, whence Gr. ffreyos, roof, Lat. tegere, to cover; the French equivalent to thatch is chaume - couverture en chaume literally cover in stubble.
Thatch
The material employed for roofs in the place of tiles, slates or shingles it consists of many different plant materials readily available in the part of the world suitable material is available, of which usually several layers are required, typically in the U.K. to the depth of from 12 to 14 in from www.thatch.org
thatching [thatch] by Leo Wood February 21, 2004

twitching hour 

The hour between 3:00 AM and 4:00 AM PST when Donald Trump tweets his craziest shit.
The twitching hour struck twice this week when the Donald first tweeted that Obama had wiretapped him and then later twitched it to the British actually doing it.