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only thee coolest instrument known to man. jocks admire tuba players. cheerleaders want to do tuba players. It originated back in the late 1790s when a man named corneilious tuba was picking up tons of hot babes in his hometown. He needed a cool club or something to separate him so everyone would know that he was the man. so saw a baritone in a local pawn shop and thought of how much of a pussy instrument it was, so he looked at the trombone. he decided that it too was a pussy instument. then he bought 17 trombones and 40 baritones and took them home. Mr. tuba then worked for 23 straight hours building thee most manly of manly instruments. When it was created he learned how to jam some sweet tunes and then went out to town to test the beast. As soon as he stepped out of his wagon the ladies flocked to him like the ones on the axe commercials. a young boy saw this and told his friends about it. the beast was from then on known as the tuba. to this day only the elite play this monsterosity and they still pick up all the hot babes.
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2
A low pitched intrument made for the bassline of a band. With out a good bassline the entire band would fall apart making tubas a main need for bands. Ive also included the following definitions
The case is perfect for hiding dead bodies
The instrument is perfect for ramming someone against a wall and beating the shit out of them litterally..
Bob: YOU FUCKING KILLED OUR WAITER WITH A GOD DAMN TUBA!
Tod: He came at me with a knife.
Bob: YOU ORDERED THE STEAK!
Tod: Thats... Not an excuse.
by theinvisibleman December 16, 2012
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3
You have sucessfully played the tuba when you do the following. Find a girl over 200lbs. Have her mount you in the 69 position. Make sure her right leg lies between your right shoulder and neck. If she's limber she might even be able to wrap her fat leg behind your back. Her other leg should be in the normal 69 position with her calf, ankle and foot behind your back. She has now mounted you much like a person carries a tuba. Now blow air into her gelatinous ass untill she plays you a massive musical fart.
It was almost 2am, so I settled on some fat chick. I took her home and played her like a tuba! Maybe next time I’ll give her the Texas Tongue Torch.
by The Rock B Town February 23, 2011
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4
the greatest instrument known to man.
band member one: I wish i played the tuba, it owns
tuba player: hell ya bitch
by turner_422 January 31, 2005
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5
The tuba, designed by gods, and blessed by chuck norris himself!!!!!! If you find a better instrument, you are high on crack! It is a regal instrument that is played by very beautiful, talented people.
dude, i got to try a tuba and i almost orgasmed when i heard it. it sounded like a "wherrrrrprprrrprprrrrp!!"
by zechman August 07, 2007
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6
the lowest-pitced member of the orchestral brass instrument family. It is considered a low brass instrument along with the baritone and trombone. It often is the root of chords and plays the familiar "oompah" in marches. Is extremely underappreciated by composers and has a solo library vastly made up of pieces that were originally written for another instrument. Tubists, people that play the tuba, are often stereotyped as large hairy German men who like to drink and the majority of IM icons about the tuba are for girls who play the tuba, which is total BS to the male teen tuba player.
The tuba can be a very melodic instrument. No, really. Stop laughing.
by tehTubaPlayer December 26, 2007
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7
(In islam) A beautiful and nurturing tree in heaven, which gives milk and shelter, along with food, to children who pass away at a young age. Individuals with this name are known to be very caring, nurturing, sweet, and giving people.
Children who pass away at a young age, are are cared for by Tuba.
by islamoholic August 16, 2011
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