| 1. | traffiction | ||
|
Traffiction is a fabricated or embellished story detailing a chaotic scene of gridlock conceived and delivered in an effort to explain one’s tardiness or absence from work / a party / your wedding / etc.
Good things to reference when telling a traffictional story: 1. Man on fire (include details like, “waving his arms wildly”) 2. Godzilla 3. Broken-down bus of cheerleaders 4. Volcanic eruption 5. Scene from Armageddon (just don’t mention Bruce Willis) 6. Sanjaya Example of traffiction:
Wow, I know I’m late, but there was the most incredible accident on the Beltway that tied me up for hours! I was moving along making great time, when up ahead I could just make out a cow wandering onto the highway. I guess the tractor trailer ahead of me didn’t see it –he must have been going at least 80 mph. The explosive impact had cars screeching to a halt and ended in a massive pileup. I was able to stop in time, but it still took the workers and clean-up crew several hours to carve a path through the cars and meat. As I finally passed by the (now totaled) tractor trailer, I noticed the mangled Chick-fil-a logo…irony can be so cruel. So, anyway…did I miss the birth of our son? |
|||
