Townies are a variation on chavs.
Most lack Wit and intelligence - and as such will be instantly stunned like a shark hit in the nose by an intelligent witty reply or long words, for example; idiosyncratic, esoteric, daetal, tympanic, incandescant. another example (one of a witty remark) would be (and i quote from real life experiances occured by fellow people) "your hair is too long, Blood, why don't you get a hair cut you 'cunt'" "at least my hair colour is the same as my eyebrows" for those who do not understand the cultural reference here, it is between bleach blonde dyed hairanother remark would be "at least i HAVE hair" or "im not going to take fashion advice from someone with no hair at all" this cultural reference is to do with the majority of "skin heads" within townie society.
All townies i have known who do have enough intelligence to get an A grade in any subject (and possibly head off towards a carreer involving more pay than slave wages), have failed due to the stereotypical lifestyle.
The majority of Townies/Chavs will take the outside of your local macdonalds as their very un-humble abode. They reside and take shelter within these places due to many reasons; including the lack of direction in life to do anything interesting, lack of intelligence and as such nothing to do within mid-day other than illigally leave school and such what not, easy cheap food, having no where to go as there are no partys going on, easy to be found by younger townies who are willing to pay the older townies to buy either alcohol or ciggerettes extra money. The majority of townies smoke and sell ciggerettes. if these people did not smoke at all and only sold ciggerettes on its own they would surely make a great profit, however, their intelligence is too low to recognise this fact.
most of these creatures are more nocturnal rather than day walking human beings (however, so are most teenagers who stay up until one in the morning) the majority of teenagers themselves are townies/Chavs. if not they are merely sheep like and cannot decide between townies or what townies have named "grebs" so they rest in a limbo like state merely listening to whatever is In at the time. at night these creatures can be seen making noise pollution at any time ranging from 9-12 pm. also, ALL "muggers" or robbers, thieves and what-not are 17+ year old chavs or foriegn. i state this as a matter of fact, not opinion. also, these people smoke only ciggerettes and not pipes, cigars, and such alike :- possibly due to lack of individuality within their culture. They usually drink cheap beer or cider or vodka, you will never see a townie holding a wine bottle/drinking champagne or whisky. This is due to lack of funds towards inducing drunkeness.
furthermore, Townies often wear tracksuits, expensive jewlery that is accidently believed to be real, T-shirts, and "hoodies". A game of 'spot the chav/townie/future mcdonalds employee' can be won by identifying chavs with their hoods up and pulling up their T-shirts to their noses (is this because they like the smell of body odour? i have no idea) a more logical explanation as to why they do this is that they wish to avoid identification by the police, however, due to no money, these people can only use a certain amount of clothes and as such, their plan has a rather large loophole.
Also, all chavs stand with the same posture, correctly rediculed as monkeylike by certain people who have allready posted. this usually is the back of trowsers/tracksuits being pulled down below so that their underwear can be shown, and so that other younger easily influenced children can think this is cool, and idolize having a lack of pubic hair. These pop-culture sheep also have their hands down their pants for no reasons what so ever, notice how when a girl who has marginal sex appeal noticeable that is not covered by plastic walks past, it is purposefully done that these men advance towards these women and move their hands up and down to extream lengths.
on friday nights they can be found breaking bus-stops by throwing stones at the glass or kicking them in, the more intelligent of chavs will do this behind corners a bit because it is a pressure point on the glass. some townies also have baseball caps - usually worn backwards to show their backwards sexuality. Recently, the definition of Chav has become very elite, and apparently if you do not have burberry you are not a chav. This is wrong, Chavs are easily recogdnisable by the music they listen to, which consists of RnB (rap and bullshit) rap, and hip-hop.
several chavs and townies also idolize "ali-g" however, due to the lack of intelligence of townies and chavs, they actually fail to realise that mr ali is taking the piss or 'mic' out of chavs, this is possibly why he has such a large fan basis. also, most chavs are illiterate, and stubbornly arrogant. This makes them believe they know the definition of every word they hear examples can be shown below - also with several words they use.
These people also idolize "gangsters" of Los angeles and such like. mostly because of their rap music that shows how amazingly "nang" they are. the music is stereotypical and is allways about, love, sex, wealth, drugs, alcohol, or violence. these stereotypes also have an accent and seem to begin every sentance with the word "Yo" this accent is rather silly and seems to prove that chavs are clearly sexually confuzed and speak with semen within their mouths; clear subtle and outragously obvious messages of being gay by chavs include: instantly moving their hands up and down when a female walks past so obviously done on purpose, showing off their lack of pupes by walking around with their trousers down, by having nearly every single album involving a picture of a black person who is muscular wearing no top (example: 50 cents album, which is worth no more than being PAID 50 cents merely to own it), the constant boasts about how they had sex with a female, boasting about having sex even if they didn't actually have sex with anyone and just spreading rumours about it (probably just to discuise their sexuality), constant mistakes within language eg: accidently stating that they were "being nang and going down on their homies, 'blud'" rather than "going down with their homies".
further more, most chavs are harmless, but some do actually carry knives and take their culture too seriously. if a chav speaks to you, you must be quick on your wit, for instance;
scenario one: walk past him and do not notice, this is considered "blanking" and is an insult, as such, you are in danger of being assaulted.
scenario two: say "what", this is also considered an insult and you are in danger of being assaulted.
scenario three: say "yo, blud/man" back, if you are not a good actor you are in danger of being assualted. as such you can see that chavs are paradoxial creatures.
Chavs are also natural enemies of "grebs" and geeks. this is because they envy the intelligence and power and cultural individuality that these people symbolize.
Examples of townie language.
bruv, (this word actually originates from a los angeles gang
blud, and shows how townies idolize black people, even when
dawg, living in poor conditions of a ghetto and shanty houses)
G, (short for gangster)
Townies are, to put it simply - Sheep. The follow whatever trends are in fashion, for about 3 weeks, then go onto the next thing, they are very noticeable:more...
The males wear dodgy cheap tracksuits and sports clothes, usually bought from JJB. They wear baseball caps with the peaks pointing straight up, and they usually have their trouser legs tucked into their socks, perhaps for some sort of primitive enjoyment.
The Female townies wear tops that- well I should say tops, but really they wear a piece of fabric that barely covers their nipples! They can usually be seen showing off to the males by removing their bra without taking their shirts off - which to me seems very pointless.
Townies usually listen to music by slutty women who don't have real talent but wear revealing clothes so the males stay interested and the females take notes on how to dress wrongly. They also listen to music by so-called "gangstaz" - men who would be shot within a second if they actually put one foot in the ghetto. The music is usually about drugs, sex and alcohol, as those seem to be the only things that stimulate the small townie mind.
As far as personality goes, townies are practially the same. They will all tell you that they lost their virginity at the age of 11 or 12 or some other stupid age, when in actual fact they have never seen the opposite sex's genitalia anywhere other than porn and sex-ed videos! They will all sit on street corners, drinking cheap beer that they coaxed th...
townies have a problem with people who dress different to them, listen to different music or have any other hobbies. they also take the piss out of people of different races or cultures blah blah etc. and are basically complete wastes of time (if you know your kid's gonna be a townie, please, drown him/her at birth.)
they also think they're cool by failing all their schoolwork and talking like dicks .... and then they have a go at kids who're actually smart. Hey townies, they're the ones you'll be packing shopping bags for in the very near future.
Fuck townies - they suck and are sooooo bored that they can't find anything better to do except hang around Alldays. tragic.
A townie is a person whom spends their free time, hanging around outside the local MacDonald’s. The male specimen has a tendency to wear fake Adidas goods, mainly tracksuits. However, they are incapable of running - due to the horrendous daily intake of tobacco.more...
Both sexes of 'townies', wear fake gold jewellery bought from the market, or stolen from other fellow townies.
The female specimen, usually have bleach blonde hair, with about 2 inches of deep brown hair above. They too sport tracksuits, having words such as 'BABE' and 'PRINCESS' bore upon their chests. The females also spend all their time “hangin wit der homies” and attempting to pull an ugly male townie.
If you do unfortunately see a group of townies, you will see several young children running around, also smoking and trying to thieve off of you. This happens because a townie is very unfamiliar with contraception, and as a result has at least 2 spouses by the time they are 15. They also may carry at least 10 STD's as yet another result of lack of contraception.
It is good to try and avoid these poor excuses for people: if you yourself are not a fellow townie, due to the fact that they resent anybody who can spell at least one word correctly.
They also like to pretend that they are stoned and drunk to impress others. Even if it is only 10 o'clock in the mor...
People between the ages of 9-19 that wear tracksuits usually purchased for £5 at the local market.The males will wear stripped jumpers that make them look like escaped convicts(which most of them are)these jumpers will be baby blue and navy in colour.Or alternativly will wear hooded tops with the name of several american cities plastered across the front eg.Boston/NYC/Detroit.They will wear white or navy track-suit bottoms with either red or fake burberry socks that were purchased at the local market for £1.50.These socks will be tucked into their tracksuit bottoms.A baseball cap will be worn with the peak verticaly above their heads for no reason what-so-ever.The females will wear similar hooded tops in white/cream/baby blue/baby pink with fake brands of FCUK/Tommy Hilfiguer plastered on the front these tops will also have been purchased at the local market for £5.They will also wear white/navy tracksuit bottoms or invariably tight jeans.Both sex's will where astonishing amounts of tacky soverein rings/clown fob pendants/3inch chains.The females will often be seen pregnant or pushing around a pram with 3/4 other small children following for around the age of 12.These children will usually be called names such as Chantel/Santilla/Tallon/Tyrese.The males will be seen in riot vans/police cars or any other such form of restraint.Both sexes will be seen standing on a street corner with large bottles of cheap cider and they will start a fight with anyone within a 100 mile radiu...more...
All the morons on here like Psycho Bitch don't seem to realise that townies victimise those who don't share their Neanderthal way of life.They always bully metallers because of their musical taste and dress sense. For that person who said that moshers and skaters think they are better:Get your head out of your arse. They don't think they're better, they have just had enough of townie fuckwits picking on them, and so they should be. I can't stand all those stupid words like 'Blud', 'Innit' and 'Blingin'. Talking like some kind of rainforest ape. The girls dress like prostitutes and they act like them, and the males like their customers. They drive shit cars, drink horrible shit cider, flash their dicks at 70 year old women in the hope of pulling, and model themselves on gangsters and pimps (Who are low-life scum so its no surprise). I fucking hate townies and i pray to the gods that they have all been wiped out within the next few years
Yeh Blud, Innit Blud, I bang my 12 year old sister Blud, let me bum a tab off u (fucking wank stain).
stupid raggy people who wear blue reebok trouser tucked into white donnay socks,with white fred perry hoodies from market and burberry hats pointing 2 the sun and loadsa fake gold rings and cheap jewelery from argos.
Found sat on benches drinking cider and starting on `normal people` for no reason even though der all faggots.
gareth barker-wears burberry
75% of malton school
adjective: retards who cant afford good clothes so they buy cheap plastic clothes and jewellery. Often seen riding small bikes because they cant afford anything better. Think they are superior because of their lack of intelligence or balls.
Townies can be recognised by their lack of intelligence, monkey like walk, godawful baseball caps and having their tracksuit trousers tucked into their socks like some musketeer
Subtype Micro pikey Midgets who start on people but get beaten up so they threaten to get their monkey cousin on them.
Alex Penrice: A retarded townie with a brain the size of his nonexistent balls. Pre evolution example of the orangutang
Entire Penrice vocab
(only said when asked questions or insulted) Errrmmmm
If approached by one dont worry its completely harmless