Their shoes are 'polished' until they're so blindingly bright, they look as if they're new and freshly stolen from 'JJL'.
Rules Of Life For Normal People
1. If you see a chav, kick him very hard in his non-existent balls.
2. If you want to find a townie, go to the nearest crappy sports shop.
3. All townies and chavs are right bastards.
4. Expressions that townies and chavs think are ‘cool’ are: Sound, safe, bling, bang out, innit mon, batty boy, rough, ratty, and any other phrases that don’t actually mean anything.
5. If you do hear something like ‘Bang out, innit mon, like’, go to the source of the sound, and kill wichever townie happens to be there, as all of these people are useless bastards with no actual purpose in life.
7. Most chav and townies if they see a fight or someone really insults another person, they will make a pointless sound that goes like ‘Oh oh ohh’.
8. If a chav or townie that is feeling particularly pointless or gay, they will come up to you, puff their pathetic little chest at you, and go ‘Yeah, yeah, come on then’, and they will then probably make up a false accusation such as: ‘Wot you say ‘bout ma mum?, or: ‘Did you call me a paedo?’. If this happens, hit them.
9. Chavs and townies also have this thing with whacking their first finger down onto the middle finger. They think this is really cool, but in actual fact, it is incredibly gay.
10. Chavs and Townies can also be distinguished by the way they walk. They walk in a ridiculously exaggerated way, and swaying from side to side and bobbing up and down more than is absolutely necessary, saying ‘Yeah, Ah’m cool, Ah’m cool’, etc, etc.
11. Chavs and Townies also think it is incredibly cool to boast about beating someone up to their so-called ‘mates’.
12. Chavs and Townies also have this peculiar habit of clapping when someone is insulted or ‘rinsed’.
13. They say ‘like’ every other word.
14. They think drugs, smoking and drinking are cool at an early age.
15. The word (well, not actually a word), ‘innit’ is used as a full stop. E.g. ‘Ah ‘ad yo ma last night, yeah, innit’!
Townie 2: Innit
Townie 1: Yeah like
Townie 2: Bling
If your walking down the street and somebody who just so happens to be wearing a burberry hat shouts comments at you, its not beacause they are a towny, because at the end of the day you have to realise that they are the worthless peices of shit not townie.
It'snot because they are a twony and thats what all you wet people out there have to understand. Bcause people listen to R and B, garage whatever doesnt mean that they are townies, or just beacuse they like nike and adidas and dont want to blow their money on real burberry so maybe all u lot shud get your facts right.
Start fights with grungers/moshas/punks and goths for absoloutly NO reason.
Manage to cram FUCK in every other sentance. think its funny to act dumb which comes naturally to them.
Townie girls come in to types.
1. Slut like, big mouthed wear hardly any clothes. Bleached hair, to much make up and are turnin yellow from all the fags and not enough sun light.
2. The ones that act like men and wear tracsuit bottoms, have their eyebrow pierced and have nothing better to do except for stealing and hanging around in no particular place of value. (eg. bus stops)
The male of the species are not very varied.
they all skank like they have a bad limb, wear clothes that are really baggy in the middle but really tight at seams and joints. They talk like Ali G, and wear alot of "bling" which we accosiate as cheap painted gold plastic, bought from the local market. they think it's hilarious when something goes wrong, crave attention and think they are "bad boys" or "wellard". Often try to be black (stupid wannabe niggers) and wear thinks from america (basketball vests which are waaaaaaay to big) and have writing containing places in america but being townies they have no idea where they are.
They wear their caps way to high and then where their hoods over the top.
JAHAN IS THE STUPIDEST KNOB EVER
Grungers and other non-townies are all unsafe around these creatures. ~They think insults are "JEW" "YA MUM" "I HAD YA MUM" "NIGGER" (which is what they try to be so?) "GRUNGER" (i mean yeah we know we get ourselves dressed every morning not our mums) and other ridiculous non-insulting words.
We are getting bored from talking about the scums so shall finish there.
in town buying a drink, townie comes up to my boyfriends mate and says "how old are ya?" he replies with his age 15. now the height difference between my friend and this tiny townie does not stop him.
We walk out of the shop and the townie starts thrusting his chest towards my mate to which he replies "your hats gay" so this townie ATTEMPT to punch him at which we walk away. then an hour later the same townie walks up to me and say "will you go out with me?". i mean what kinda stupid twat is he?
the female on other hand will be bitchy will pick on ne one that she does not like and will try and mate with who she thinks is the ALFA male once she has done this she seems entitled to say ne phrases and gains alot more respect from the others
things to folow if u want to become a townie/chav
dont have an IQ
dont do nething neone else wouldnt do
dont wear clothes that look good
dont have emotions
dodgy trainers with some silly pattern on side put onto his feet and strip him of dignity and he is done
oi blud fuck yall selves full im posh u bumboclut ass wipe fuck face
male townies: normally act well 'ard n av der heads shaved in order 2 get street cred (hahaha my arse) from der 'friends' which they av worked so hard to impress (accumplished by either stabbin sum1, smashin sum random persons hed in or gettin sum 12yr old girl pregnant)!!
female townies: wear as much makeup and branded 'sport' gear as they can with the money thier parent/s (dad probably locked up in prison or legged it 2 the otha end of da country in order 2 neva b seen by da motha afta a quickie in da bk of his dads car) scabbed of the council. most clothes bought from a charity shop, market or passed dwn from der older sis or bro who will b da 1 kicken ur hed in coz der younger sibling cant do it!! i'm surprised townies actually have ears coz of da size of earings dey wear i fought dey would rip!! (ohwell as long as it causes dem lots of pain) how many times a wk do they wash their hair n face?? wid the ammount of stuff dey cake themselves in its hard 2 figure out how it actually cums off!!! most find it easier 2 get a townie b/f by dyeing their hair blonde but missing all of the roots so there the original color fuckin pointless!!!!!!!
all townies wear da big puffa jackets, tracksuits, brite white trainers, burberry shit, stupid baseball caps, miniskirts aka belts(girls), high heels, knee high boots, tops which dnt cova nefin n speak in a unidentified language consisting of init m8, fook, s**t, c**t, b*****d, m**a f**k n d**k so much more could b added
wot dya call a townie in a filing cabinet??
wot dya call a townie hu worships da devil??
wot dya call a townie on a bike??
wot dya call a townie in a sk8prk??
wot dya call a townie in a box??