A townie is an English word for a person who:
1. Uses the phrase "Ya Mum" as an insult
2. Thinks that it is cool/hard to use various words beginning with F and S
3. Listens to "Phat Beats" - Blazin Squad, So Solid Crew, Jay-Z (or whatever) etc.
4. Drives a Car such as a Vauxhall Nova or Ford Escort or similar which has A body kit, lowerred suspension, large exhaust, and a huge Subwoofer in the boot to make sure that everyone can hear their "Phat Beats"
5. Has a stupid nickname such as "Jubba" or "Staples"
6. Steals mobile phones
7. Wears "Bling Threads"
8. Walks in a stupid, exaggerated way
9. Has a fundamental disability to pronounce the letter "H"
10. Smokes all the time whilst doing the above
11. Is challenged by a lack of immagination
12. Has a Helly Hansen "Puffer Jacket"
13. Has gelled blonde (dyed) hair
by Tommo August 04, 2003
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Someone who stands in corners waiting to "start summat" with anyone who walks by. Townies usually walk around in "crews" varying from 7 to 20 people. Some common characteristics: Female Townie
Lots of "bling bling"
Pink tracksuit
Random Burberry hairband
Hair tied at the side
Really bad attitude problem
Fag in her hand
A bag that can just about fit a £2 coin in
Hair gelled back really tight
So much make up - orange foundation with a line around the edge of the face

Male Townie
Lots of "bling bling"
Blue Tracksuit
Massive rings on every finger
Really bad attitude problem
Fag in his hand
Over gelled hair
HUGE "diamond" earring to show how "manly" he is

"what da fuk do you think you're staring at?"
"are you starting beef wiv me?"
*cough* ""dirty" gof"
*cough* ""dirty" grunga"
"it's not halloween" *townie "crew" all laugh hysterically*
"i'm gonna bang you up innit?"
"don't get moufy/ loud/ lairy wiv me"
"your mum's fat"
"your mum's a slag"
"i fucked your mum last night"
"yo yo bruv!"
"oi blud!"
"omg did you just see that buff boy/ girl?"
" i had sex with 6 people last night" (and they still think their not whores....)

Townies seem to think that shouting at people makes them look "ard", but when you answer back they all run and tell their brothers/ sisters to "bang you up". The most pathetic thing about them is that they think that their "insults" will upset you. Take "it's not halloween" for instance. They seem to think that this will really bother you. And they also think it's funny. But it doesn't bother people. And it's not funny. I think that they should all sit down and try to come up with something more insulting. But then again, what comes out of their heads is completely useless shit and they're not that intelligent. Swearing is part of their limited vocabulary. "Fuk dis" and "fuck dat". If you ever get into a situation where a townie starts shouting at you, even whilst following you, try not to answer back too much, they'll be about 10 more of them around the corner awaiting calls for backup and about 6 more up the road stealing phones or whatever. Townies should die. Then the world would be a better place. Remember this: if in doubt, kill a townie.
Need more information??
See chav or rude boy/girl
by Kerry March 06, 2005
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A person with a lack of ability to talk. using words like innit, nah m8 and geeza
they have changed the good old meaning of RnB or Hip Hop to a crap pop sham, with sluts who cant sing and huuge groups of boys who think its hard to tightly squeeze their crotch (though it doesnt hurt as theres nothing there).

Wearing tracksuits, burburry (fake)
Been smoking since they first heard the word ciggarette.
Girls wearing, incredibly short skirts, not even a skirt, more a belt, gelled back hair, with badly blonde highlights.

They add 'innit' in every possible space of a sentance.

They hate anyone more attractive, intellegent, niceer, better than them.
and therefore owe them a good beating.

Their arch enemy: Anyone with their own opinion. Alternative people
Townie: ah bruv, iz u startin m8, coz i 'as a big bruva dat killed like 10 ppl last wk, n like neva got caught. innit

Someone: I'm sorry, i didnt quite get that, what did you just say?

Townie: u iz a batty

Someone: sorry, what?
by Ella January 28, 2004
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A townie is usually someone who has been brought up in a low income family. Their parents aren't very interested in what they do or what they get up to. In the day time they skip school abd roam the town causing trouble until the police enter and they run a mile. We must not be so harsh on them though...if we had lives as crappy as they have clearly had, we may have turned out to be as brainless and ugly as them as well. A townie generally has no future and no direction in life. If they do manage to live past 25 they are either a dustman or a builder and regret it in later life. They wear clothes ranging from adidas to adidas. They have burberry caps pointed up to the sky and slicked gelled hair at the front which makes them look like total oafs. They either wear 3/4 length trousers or roll a pair of tracksuit bottoms up and if they are old enough they shave their ankles...don't ask me why its completely fucking stupid.
Townie on mobile phone> wot.....na..wot.....nah.....wot....nah..wot............nah...............wot?
by Papasloonatsta November 29, 2003
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It's crawling with townies, I say!
by Necro October 09, 2003
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Description: The self-conscious ego seeking moron.
Target: Everybody who doesn't look like them (E.g. Goths, Grungers ect..)
Usually based around the coasts and inner city areas. The common townie prefer to wear rolled up addidas trousers with a distinctive double white strips running up the outside of both legs, along with matching nike trainers with ugly mooboot style grips on the underside however the most common townie will have no colour co-ordination what-so ever and mistakenly think purple and green look as they say "Cool mate".
Wear hoodies which are beige, blue or occassionally black and baby blue or pink for the females. Avoiding labels at all costs however, replace them with words such as "Cuba, 1976, Baby, Princess, ect.." all of which have no actual meaning to them.
Topped off with "massive" amounts of jewerlly which they call by the name "Bling Bling".
* For the male of the townie species "Bling Bling" will be one gold stud and perhaps a chain around their necks which originate originally from the female jewerlly section in the argos catalogue.
* For the female townie species they prefer to wear ridiculously "massive" gold looped earings bought from claire's accessories for 50p in the sale which they claim to be worth £20, hands covered in 10p rings, and several gold crosses and chains which originated from their arch enemy: The "Goth" or "goff" as they prenounce.
The majority of townie morons have pizza faces and as a insecurity accuse others to be "f***in' mingers" (minger meaning: ugly bastard/bitch). However the female townie attempts to cover their blemishes with tonnes of cheap make-up, blue mascara, with a lining of thickly spread silver eye shadow across the eyelids. The consiquence of this creates an orange glow which can be noticed from several meters away.
A wide variety of townies prefer to consider themselves 'rich' although when insulting them of there income they prefer to reply with "oi, ya sayin' im poor?'. After this remark it is advised to exit hastly before they gather their "Posse" to "Beat tha' shit outta' ya".
Townies have managed to produce their own language which manages to reproduce the word 'Fuck' in each sentence. Other words are abrehivated english words such as 'Innit' (Translation: Isn't it)Unfortunatly this is only the only word that makes sense to a normal human being.
It is advised to avoid eye contact with any townie otherwise you may become "in for it". To retaliate can result in injury of the victim. This consiquently will inflate the townie's overated imaginary ego.
If approached it is wise to use bigger words such as "unnecessary". This will confuse them and will give time for an exit.
Stay safe...dont show any emotion with a townie and his/her posse!

TwigZ xxx
As the Goth stands with his girlfriend. The townies approach their victims. As the goths glance in the townies direction for a split second the townie catches on and starts to approach the goth...
Townie: "Oi goff startin'?"
Goth: "No...i'm not"
Townie: "Ya f***in gay batty"
Goth: "What...?"
Townie: "I'm gonna f***in beat the sh*t outta' ya"
Goth: "Erm...wat have i done to you to start this"
(townie replies with random amounts of noises before goth gets impatient and walks away)
Townie: "f***in batty, i got 'im good"
by Twiggz August 23, 2004
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In America, a townie is a person who has lived in a small town for his or her entire life. Often proud of that fact, townies take great interest in every detail of change in their home turf. Notable characteristics include: making fun of places they've never been (and probably will never go), remembering what used to be where that new building is, and getting fat after high school.
Townie: "Things haven't been the same around here since they built that hotel where the old hardware store used to be."
by Alligator Fuck Master February 17, 2008
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