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1. Useless waist of space

2. Chat complete bollocks using words that mean absolutely nothing.

3. Impersonates Ali G being too thick to realise he is actually taking the piss out of people like that.

4. Has no idea of any music catogries unless it comes under any thing such as R n B, garage or any other crap therefore calling any thing that isn't bollocks "metlar music" including groups such as Coldplay, Travis and Embrace unless they like a song then it becomes non "metlar music".

5. Hangs round streets late at night in big groups to try and feel hard because they are total pussies who need "back-up" and weaponry.

6. No not how to fight a fair fight.

7. Like music only by black men and wiggers.

8. Pretend to take drugs because it makes them hard but are only smart enough to figure out how to smoke.

9. No hope in life apart from McDonalds.

10. Brain span goes about as far as shite music, drugs, and sex with there siblings.

11. A vocabulary which ranges from words that mean to shit to words that mean shit.
The very short belt like skirts of a female townie have bad habbits of going up and down more times that a horney rabbits arse.
by Arran Delieu March 28, 2004

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See Also prep, slapper, chav, trendy, fashionista: Mindless losers who are sheep and follow the flock mindlessly just to fit in and be accepted, The Average Townie is easily manipulated by others or Imperialist Media which is robbing people of there individuality and dictating what is cool see mtv, c4 and juice tv

The Average Townie is aged between 11 and 29 but can be much older or more alarmingly much younger. They loiter in groups of no less than 3 and can be found loitering at Te Aro park or Odlin Square drinking cheap cider and RTDs. If the townie is old enough he/she is usually seen in "rough cunt" nightclubs such as The Lab or Rain.

The MALE Townie is obsessed with his car - usually a late model Mazda RX or Subaru -, and often drives it at rediculously high speeds (usually with his mates inside) without any regard for the safety of his passengers, other motorists, or pedestrians. The male townie (see also boyracer when he is not keeping a quiet street awake with his "burnouts", "donuts" and "drags" or potentially killing his passengers, anotehr motorist or an innocent padestrian often Shouts abuse at pedestrians from there windows as they drive by. The Male Townie is distingushable by a Hoodie, Lowrider Jeans, and Beanie and tries very hard to look like a skater when he is just another poser, more recently Male townies have been dressing up in white patterend shirts and Mohawks and passing themselves off as punks when they know they are nothing more than posers. He Generally listens to Rap, Poser Punk and Dance Music

The FEMALE Townie is obsessed with the way she looks - She easily stands out by wearing short (usually denim) skirts, (often with some b/s like "roxy" written on the arse") Knee High Boots, Tube Tops, Tops that are cut off at the shoulder and/or expose much of the back and cleavage in fact anything from supre, glassons or Number One Shoe Warehouse would do her well as she is in these stores more often than her house.In addition to these slutty clothes she also wears a latitude cap thus making her look like a fucking the chav fuck she is. She listens to shit assed radio stns such as the edge and ZM religiously and heavily digs R&b, Rap, Pop, Dance Music, in fact whatevers on the Top 40 at the moment.

Be Warned people - Townies are common bloodstained Criminals, they are the pestilence and like any disease they need to be eradicated.
JERRY: Hamish, Townie Scum down at the Lab, lets go smack em over.
HAMISH: Yeeup, just as soon as weve sorted out the townie scum down at rain, after that smack the ones over at Te Aro Park.
JERRY: DEATH TO TOWNIES!!!
by Brother Number One August 22, 2005

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Social rejects who hang around in groups of 10-50.

Males often seen wearing dirty, worn out rockport boots, burberry socks with luminous green adidas tracksuit bottoms tucked into them, a burbery cap and a nike hoodie over the top (with the hood being worn up), coated with a can of lynx. the hair is gelled into a solid quiff, normally dyed blonde.

Females vary between two types. Type one: the tramp.

The tramp wears similar clothes to the male, if not the same, except topped off with a "great value!" gold necklace from elizabeth duke at argos, often with a clown pendant. 4-16 gold creoles will also be worn in the ears, and a large tacky belly-button piercing is necessary. Type two, the tart wears the same jewelerry except adds 60 grams of orange, blue and pink make up, a pair of tight jeans with "babe" or "angel" written on the ass (only £3 from the local market) and a t-shirt with a similar phrase on it. This is topped off with a pink or baby blue caridigan with "EST 1980" or "TEAM" written across the front in huge white letters. The hair is pulled back into an abnormally tight bun which pulls their skin so much that they cant move their face, other than to chew some stolen wrigleys extra from the local corner shop (oh no sick man).

The music can vary from dance, to pop, to rnb and hip-hop eg Sean Paul, Mis-teeq, Beyonce Knowles, 50 Cent etc. Anyone who does not listen to this music is instantly labelled as a "freak". Same goes for the clothes.

To find a townie, I suggest you look in the following places: bus shelters, mcdonalds, park benches, phone boxes, outside corner shops, and anywhere is the general area of a rough council housing estate.

Communicaing with townies is often difficult considering the fake jamaican accents and unnecessary amounts of slang. Here are a few common phrases to get you started:

Fock ya mom - I have a pinner.
Mo' fockin cuzzen'll fockin batta ya - I would fight you but my 600 grams of hair gel havent dried yet.
Nah man stink - You've offended me.
Sick (pronounced sick-AH) - Word used to describe something of townie approval.

They often have nicknames such as:

Gazza
Tezza
Shaz(za)
Kez(za)

You can witness these on various lampposts and bus shelters throught Great Britain.
Townie: Oooom ya fockin lookin' at mate!!! *spits*
Innocent passer-by: I wasn't.
Townie: OH NO! Stink!
Innocent passer-by: 0o'
by ricecake January 03, 2004

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In America, a townie is a person who has lived in a small town for his or her entire life. Often proud of that fact, townies take great interest in every detail of change in their home turf. Notable characteristics include: making fun of places they've never been (and probably will never go), remembering what used to be where that new building is, and getting fat after high school.
Townie: "Things haven't been the same around here since they built that hotel where the old hardware store used to be."
by Alligator Fuck Master February 17, 2008

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Actually, townies just want to mess up with people, get in fights with their others dumb townies, smoke around, they don't even know english language, and have no future, and listen to all that kind of shit music called R'n'B Rap and others trashes more. They don't have even respect to each other in their stupi chav crew. In specially when they get in the bus. I had couple problems with townies, they are just the scum of the humanity. If you are a townie mate! You better change you way of living!
yo... le's anoi da strage guy
by GRIND777 February 19, 2005

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if you are not one you will not want to be associated with one or go to places/school or anywhere else with one.
If you are one you will be so sucked into the townie subculture you will think the 'different' are evil.
real townies have warped minds, they evolved from rats basically. To put it bluntly, you wouldn't want to bump into a townie in a dark alley.

key words/things to look out for:
burberry, von dutch, vicky pollard, year 7&8&9&10&11 kids soiled in make-up and bling, clubland cd's, cigarettes, wkd, 'whatevar' 'biatch' 'schlag' 'omg feck aff'

sounds like: when you have a sweet in your mouth, don't say the end of words. so if it was walking it would be walkin'

for their ears: blazin squad, khia, dj sammy, any trancy music. look out for music with no instruments.

piercings: ears, nose

intentions: evil

sex status: washed-up

exsist in: hundreds and thousands
two townie girls at the beach pass two non-townie boys.

girl:omg look at tha minga'
girl 2: e's a goffik!!!
girl: UH lets chopse 'im
by rosella January 25, 2005

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Well, lets start with the obvious shall we, a townie is from the TOWN. they have rules to which they must adhere at all times to avoid being 'fuckin' batad' by their 'cru'. contrary to popular belief, townies to do not favour buying cheap, tacky fake jewellery or 'bling' at argos, as this would be far to expensive. instead they head to the local market where they use their natural townie or chav instincts to search out and obtain the biggest knuckle duster they can find. Whilst 'daan da markit' they may also spy a rather fetching 'trackie' possibly of neon colouring and fake branding (ie. nuke, adidat etc) they will purchase this outfit and wear it, trousers being tucked into their socks. Those amongst them who dare to be different (heaven forbid) may wear, along with said tracksuit bottoms, a jacket embroidered with the words 'boston', 'babe' etc. The females of this species (origins are uncertain, although scientists are doing research) will wear their hair scraped back on their heads. It is also very likely they will have used the contents of Boots’ stock room of hairspray so not one lump or bump is visible. The males will not have this problem as they have no hair, simply a shaved head and a cap placed carefully at 90 degrees to their empty heads. (they must also have a black eye so as to gain the respec of their ‘posse’) Finally, if you are unable to spot a townie, hang around a group of mopeds and soon enough, their owners (being townies) will saunter bak, wankered on cheap cider but pretending (cuz they’re hard) that they’re sober. They will spot you and start walking over (the distinctive ‘i’ve got a shit trying to escape from my back passage’ walk) claiming they’re gonna ‘fuckin batta ya’ if you don’t move away from they’re “expensive transportation”. This is your clue to laugh and then floor them if they piss you off a bit. Or if you’re just a bit bored.
example = any loser who can't understand words with more than one syllable.
by ben dover September 29, 2004

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a townie is an under-educated, brain damaged product of the welfare state who really should have been aborted at the earliest oppertunity.

Often found commiting various crimes and "'angin" around cheap discount shops and market stalls that sell fake clothing with the hideous burberry pattern.

they lack the ability to communicate in anything above "errr", "Wot" and "Nah" with the most intellegent of them someday becoming a valued member of the fast food service industry although most will end up living off the welfare state to support them and their eqaully intellectually diluted offspring's drug and fake burberry addiction.

the following solutions would render the townie an endangered species:

1: invest in a large shotgun and declare "townie hunting season" open

2: Remove state "benifit" payments from them and make them get jobs, in this case most would die off because their immense stupidity negates their chances of getting even a MacDonolds job.

3: Anyone who falls into the "townie" category should be sterillized immidiatly to stop further generations sucking money out of the economy and littering the landscape with their useless carcasses.
a "townie" most often lives on or near a council estate where the average income is based on how many drugs they can sell or bikes they can steal
by All Townies Must Die September 19, 2004

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