A townie is an English word for a person who:
1. Uses the phrase "Ya Mum" as an insult
2. Thinks that it is cool/hard to use various words beginning with F and S
3. Listens to "Phat Beats" - Blazin Squad, So Solid Crew, Jay-Z (or whatever) etc.
4. Drives a Car such as a Vauxhall Nova or Ford Escort or similar which has A body kit, lowerred suspension, large exhaust, and a huge Subwoofer in the boot to make sure that everyone can hear their "Phat Beats"
5. Has a stupid nickname such as "Jubba" or "Staples"
6. Steals mobile phones
7. Wears "Bling Threads"
8. Walks in a stupid, exaggerated way
9. Has a fundamental disability to pronounce the letter "H"
10. Smokes all the time whilst doing the above
11. Is challenged by a lack of immagination
12. Has a Helly Hansen "Puffer Jacket"
13. Has gelled blonde (dyed) hair
a townie is someone who has no mind of their own and follows whatever trends happen to be most common at the time. they will always have disgustingly obviously fake, cheap-looking dyed "blonde" hair with about 2+ inches of d-a-r-k roots and will never (hell forbid!) be seen wearing black(!) clothing and hate anyone with a mind of their own (no wonder they haye shopping trolleys) townies are incredibly vain too, they spend forever infront of a mirror piling on fake tan and makeup, and gawping lovingly at themselves. they also wear painfully small, tight clothing and are constantly "getting off" wit heach other.
i was outside mcdonalds and i walked by this disgusting barbie (?) pink car and a townie was hanging out the window with the roof down and she had about 20 mirrors aimed on herself trying to gaze at herself from every angle when i walked by she gave this annoyingly fake, high giggle "tee-hee oh look bethie! its a gothic person! tee-hee!" then she wend back to heaping on makeup and gazing at herself.
A townie is a person who thinks they is 'ard but ain't. They all speak with a cockney accent. They don't earn a living and get money off of mum and dad, and proberley will for the next 20 years. they don't wear real designer tops they get cheep fake sh*t from the market for £10. they all think they are well hard because they have got mobile phones. they all listen to blazin squad and fake garage crap whick they think is the best in the world. all they say is innit, respect mon, and fuck off u slag. all they can think about is SEX. but about three quarters of them are still VIRGINS. they go out every friday and get out of there face pissed and high on dope they also do that saturday and sunday aswel. they do'nt ever stop shopping at the weekends they always bunk off school. all of the dudes and birds grab each others asses in public and make out infront of everybodys faces because they just don't care about anything these days.
the townie age group usually fall under 13 - 18 if you are still a townie at 18 you have some serious commitment issues and you need to fu**ing get your act sorted out because who wants to be a townie at 18 years old
What do you call a townie in a box?
A youth who excessively travels to, or resides in town. Typically wearing skinny jeans and band t-shirt. Hair obscuring eyes. Possibly questionable sexuality.
Harry "Townie" Colovic. Such a Townie.
1. For education institutions located outside of cities, a townie is a person who lives and works near the institution but is not affiliated with the school itself. These people are lowly paid and poorly educated.
2. A person who grew up in towns.
Homer: "Hey! It's townies like me that cook your food and clean your bathrooms!"
"If you did the former better, we would use the latter less!"
Homer runs off crying
"That's it townie! Run! Run back to your town!"
a very clean, very kind, very well cared for, very beautiful and very VERY accepting of others i.e. goths/emos/grungers/scene kids/skaters ect ect.
there is no need to panic if you are walking down a alley and you ACSEDENTLY trip and fall on their house and tear off one the sides after heavy rain fall.
they will often crawl out and offer you broken bottle as a gift and then they send you on your way, politely, may i add!
they often come and visit us at the skate park to say hello and wish us good day, again they often leave a small gift like a rock or yet another broken bottle but they are sometimes so happy to see us that they hand you the rock so fast that it slips and gives you a black eye. this is the best gift possible as it a mark that will stay for about 5-10 days.
if i am ever feeling peckish i will head straight to my local macdonalds to buy maybe a bag of fruit or a yogurt drink and i will often see my townie friends there and they will greet me with a hearty moonie or a Chery grin. they now know me well enough to just take me food without asking, after giving me "the mark" they will never need to ask again, it will be my pleasure!!
then on the bus ride home if i venture to the top deck there will be a nice scattering of townies and chavs
that often ask me to go and sit with them. i can tell another delightful gift is coming so my hearts starts beating faster and faster. i stand by them and chat about the weather, current affairs or the lack of discipline in schools. these often excite them also so they give me a friendly pat on the back that...
The old word for chav
which, frankly, sounds a lot better and less self-consciously constructed to sound obnoxious by a group of journalists on a slow July nesday.
"Oh great, another pack of townies coming to kick my head in because I don't conform to their world view."
Wears tracksuits to the likes of Addidas and Nike, and wears footy shoes and sometimes wears socks really high up covering the bottom of their tracksuit trousers. Listens to trance type music, and has the worst ever attitude. Goes around looking for trouble, and always wanting to hunt down grungers and beat them up for no reason. Might have a ear piercing on the right side to either show that their gay, or a townie, or both in most cases. They are the reason why the UK is a badass place and a complete shithole full of violence and crime. Townies ruin everything.
Townie: Oi there`s a fookin grebby twat there, lets gow jump that stupid dick.
Grunger: Touch me and I`ll shove this knife in your fucking face and beat you all to the ground, and call up all the grungers to hoarde you all and rip your fucking teeth out.