When one has left it far too long before having a shit and the brown toad slips out early
Oh fuck, I'm going to have to leave you, as I think I'm touching cloth
when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear. A crude expression with a mighty impact.
-"I am ever so glad i wore baggy boxer shorts today".
-"really egbert why is that".
-well humbert to be quite frank i am touching cloth.
-oh you are desperate to empty your bowels and are finding it hard to keep the turtles head under reigns.
-quite, and now i am afraid the turtles head has broken through my anal gates and is causing one great discomfort.
-i see, well it is lucky you are wearing spacious boxer shorts for if you were wearing y fronts the turtle may have been crushed resulting in a mess in ones pants.
-never mind i am starting to quite enjoy the sensation it is similar to when you insert your penis through my cheeks to the brown.
-oh well i dont know why you are complaining in that case it would be more like a terrapin head as my penis is terribly small due to the inbred nature of my family.
-dont beat yourself up you make up for it with your 11 fingers.
A saying that is used when someone has waited FAR too long to have a shit. It
verbalises the possible condition that the lead end of a shit has protruded beyond the opening of the anus and has made contact with their undergarment.
I need to find a bathroom right now.. I'm TOUCHING CLOTH
When the prairrie dog pops it head out of the burrow and is almost headbutting the undergarments.The time immediately preceeding the arrival of a brown trout
fuck i'm touching cloth.We'd better find a toilet soon or i'll lay a nest of dogs eggs
in my fucking strides
When you are struggling to hold in a poo, and its tip has breached the sphincter and is touching your underwear.
Dude, I've gotta get to a toilet quick, I'm touching cloth here!
When the head of your brown trout is appearing unbidden on-deck. When the nose of the turtle's head is beginning to rub on the undergarments you are currently wearing.
I'm sorry your Majesty, I may have to leave abruptly as I'm touching cloth...
When you have to poop really bad and you can barely hold it in. So bad the poop is touching your underwear or is close to it.
you: Man do I have to take a dump really bad. I don't think I can hold it in.
me: Are you "touching cloth"? Ewwwww
When you're about to drop a deuce
and your struggling to hold it in, the tip or your shit-log pokes out and touches the fabric of your undergarment.
Matt- I'm busting for a shit so bad I'm touching cloth. Can I cut in front of you for the stall?
Joe- Yeah, but only if I can poke it back in with my cock?