8
A once good actor turned completely insane. He is now engaged to actress Katie Holmes (who looks like she's twelve but is still taller than him). Tom Cruise also VERY OPENLY practices scientology. Scientologists, I'm convinced, are trying to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE. I mean seriously, anything started and made popular in LA has to be frigged up. They have schools, and art classes, and buildings. ITS FRIGHTENING!!! How can you have a "religion" based off of a sci-fi novel anyway???? It makes no sense.

But really, he had a list of all the single actresses in Hollywood that he could go out with. Katie Holmes was at the end of the list. A girl has to have some pride.
"Oh my God. When she saw Brad Pitt, she went all Tom Cruise and started jumping up and down on my couch. GAWD. Now we need to get new upholstery."

"Poor Batman, he has to kiss Mrs. Tom Cruise."

"YOU SHOW EM, TOM. KICK SOME ALIEN ASS! Ooh wait...nevermind you got sucked up into the ship..."
by Mrs. Hayden Christensen July 03, 2005
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9
An exceptionally shit actor (refer to his couch jumping antics on Oprah to prove that he loves Katie Holmes), and believes eating asparagus can keep influence from evil alien souls at bay (refer to scientology).
d00d wtf happened? u used to be ok, but now ur a fuggin' mess!!!
by omg!?!?!? August 12, 2005
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10
A loopy-ass muthafucka who jumps up on sofas and embarasses Dawson's girlfriend all the time. See wack.
Tom Cruise is wack. He needs to get up out of Oprah's grill and stop jumping around like a 5 year old.
by Chilla June 29, 2005
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11
Tom Cruise is a douche who thinks he is smart, but he is in fact not
by Tom December 26, 2005
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12
A moron who likes jumping on couches and has absolutely no consideration for other people's furniture. He also looks like a gorilla when he jumps on a couch. But moving on... he has absolutely no expression or emotion in his movies except for war of the worlds in which he looked rather constipated.
tom cruise- I LOVE KATIE HOLMES SO MUCH I'M GONNA DESTROY OPRAH'S COACH. I'M SURE SHE WON'T MIND.
me- go jump on your own couches

tom cruise- OMG I AM SO AWESOME. GO ME. EVERYONE LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ABOUT SCIENCE AND STUFF. I ROCK!!!
me- what?! you expect me to listen to you when you start lecturing about science?! go bother katie holmes but not me.
by je m'appelle moi January 09, 2006
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13
The most overrated actor ever; a complete moronic ass-hat douchebag of epic proportions. Undeniably and completely insane, a self-proclaimed scientologist who will pull any publicity stunt to avert attention from the fact that he is wholly a flaming homosexual. These stunts (such as stating he would eat Katie Holmes' placenta at the time of their daughter's birth, etc., etc.) have served to all but ruin his career to the point that only Oprah is tool enough to allow him to appear on her show. His is a classic case of maniacal insanity.
Hey Mike, you want to watch Top Gun?
Hell no Jeff! You really wanna watch that Tom Cruise fruitloop
pulling on a flight yoke in a Liberace reacharound fantasy???
Get the fu*k outta here!!
by Ill Bill B Illin' August 31, 2007
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14
An overrated actor who specializes in couch jumping, promoting $cientology and painting himself into corners with his lies and contradictions. Has had several high profile sham weddings and relationships to hide the fact that he is a homosexual.
Wow, look at Tom Cruise's new mop-top haircut. He looks like John Lennon, only with less dignity.
by Marshall Rousso September 13, 2006
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