A material most often used to wipe one's anus clean of fecal matter, generally after one uses a restroom. Can be used for other purposes as well, almost all of which involve a liquid mess that needs to be removed through absorption. A common misconception is that toilet paper is sold on cardboard rolls. The material most people are thinking of in this case is in fact just smaller paper towels. Despite having identical functions to toilet paper, there is a clear distinction: Small paper towels are sold on rolls, toilet paper is sold in four volumes, each with the appearance of a regular book. And on each page of toilet paper can be found many words that were written by Stephanie Meyer.

The words are ignored by most and toilet paper is used for its intended purpose. Some have attempted to read them, though doing so is strongly advised against; no contributions to literature in any form are present. A group of the people who have read the words have developed an obsession with not only reading toilet paper, but with it's empty shells which they believe are characters. They can be witnessed arguing over which of these would make a more desirable boyfriend in real life, and for the other empty shells featured in toilet paper.

The people who do this are best dealt with through tolerance. They probably won't go away for a while. Just keep using it to wipe your ass, because it's much better for that than for reading.
Jimmy: Mom, can you hand me some toilet paper through the door? We ran out.

Mom: Sure Jimmy, will New Moon work?

Jimmy: I don't think that's enough, I'm probably gonna use up a whole Breaking Dawn after that crap.
by 20505person March 25, 2013
Mug icon

Cleveland Steamer Plush

The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

Buy the plush
1. A paper substance with no significant use other then to wipe one's feces expelling cavity.

2. Anything written by Stephanie Meyer or L. Ron Hubbard.
Matt: "Would you like my copy of What Is Scientology?"
Trey: "Sure, I just ran out of toilet paper."
by ballzgalore May 07, 2015
Mug icon

Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

Buy the plush
an excellent product for masturbation. i cum into it all the time.
toilet paper absorbs my cum
by Why Bother February 19, 2006
Mug icon

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug
Its an ass-wipe
by Hlyn Eyb September 15, 2003
Mug icon

Donkey Punch Plush

10" high plush doll.

Buy the plush
Stock or options in a startup company, referring to the likeliness the money will have only imaginary value. In contrast to "real paper".
Person 1: "Hey, I got a great new job, paying $150k, working for a company that makes facebook apps!"

Person 2: "Really? Is it real paper or toilet paper?"

Person 1: "$60k base, $90k stock"

Person 2: "oh, so mostly toilet paper..."
by Aaron Startupguy November 16, 2009
Mug icon

Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

Buy the plush
looooong term for saying TP
I need TP for my bunghole.
by xzbyte June 02, 2004
Mug icon

Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

Buy the plush
a paper you use to wipe your shit, and bouncing droplets of toilet water.
American in Japan: where's a toilet paper?
"A random Japanese stranger"
: we use bidet instead.
American: we have to make America smart again!
by someart February 28, 2017
Mug icon

Golden Shower Plush

He's warmer than you think.

Buy the plush