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8.
A material most often used to wipe one's anus clean of fecal matter, generally after one uses a restroom. Can be used for other purposes as well, almost all of which involve a liquid mess that needs to be removed through absorption. A common misconception is that toilet paper is sold on cardboard rolls. The material most people are thinking of in this case is in fact just smaller paper towels. Despite having identical functions to toilet paper, there is a clear distinction: Small paper towels are sold on rolls, toilet paper is sold in four volumes, each with the appearance of a regular book. And on each page of toilet paper can be found many words that were written by Stephanie Meyer.

The words are ignored by most and toilet paper is used for its intended purpose. Some have attempted to read them, though doing so is strongly advised against; no contributions to literature in any form are present. A group of the people who have read the words have developed an obsession with not only reading toilet paper, but with it's empty shells which they believe are characters. They can be witnessed arguing over which of these would make a more desirable boyfriend in real life, and for the other empty shells featured in toilet paper.

The people who do this are best dealt with through tolerance. They probably won't go away for a while. Just keep using it to wipe your ass, because it's much better for that than for reading.
Jimmy: Mom, can you hand me some toilet paper through the door? We ran out.

Mom: Sure Jimmy, will New Moon work?

Jimmy: I don't think that's enough, I'm probably gonna use up a whole Breaking Dawn after that crap.
by 20505person March 25, 2013
4 0
 
1.
Primarily used to wipe someone's immediate sphincter area. Nowadays used to wipe various unwanted liquid or viscid substances.
Also, like all varieties of paper, one can write stories on.
1. Use the toiletpaper this time son. You smell bad.

2. Oh my God, I've run out of paper and I will lose my train of thought. I better use some toiletpaper.
by toiletpaperstories July 21, 2005
411 52
 
2.
Something to wipe your ass with.
See yugio cards
Hahahahah! The blue eyes dragon yugio card is NO MATCH for my turd!
by J.L. February 13, 2004
336 101
 
3.
Best Invention Ever. Period.
Bill:What the fuck would I wipe my ass with if toilet paper wasn't invented.
Bob: Your sock, dude?
by snorgle October 19, 2003
178 45
 
4.
What i'm out of right now
oh fucking shit, i'm out of toilet paper
should i use my socks or my roommates towel?
by piebot October 28, 2003
117 48
 
5.
1. A soft paper-like product that you use to clean your anus after you poop.

2. A product that flys nicely over nieghbors trees.
I just wiped my ass with some toilet paper.

Damn, That was a good throw, man I think the toilet paper hit every branch on the way down that tree!
by Stevereno January 11, 2007
87 24
 
6.
The person who made that image is right on. I don't know who the crud wants to reach under the roll to get paper, or unwrap it backwards over the roll, but rational people just don't put TP on the stick with it hangin' on the inside.
Jimbo put the toilet paper on backwards. "Jimbo, you are an idiot. I had to stinkin' reach under the roll. Let me recommend a good psychotherapist."
by Toilet Paper Police July 18, 2005
75 39
 
7.
1. This is the shit ticket that your toilet eats
2. Once you go brown you flush it down
Is recycled toilet paper supposed to come in a tinted shade?
by Scotty Tissue November 12, 2010
14 2