i swear to drunk i'm not god

Usually said by drunks.
They think they're actually saying:
"I swear to god I'm not drunk."

Unforunately, they aren't.

Guy : I swear to drunk I'm not god!
Police officer: Okay sir, get out of the car.

i swear to drunk i'm not god by SuperSonicX August 22, 2004

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken 

1. A quote from the late, great Colonel Sanders 2. A phrase that instantly nullifies all of your opponents points, arguments, etc. 3. The greatest comeback ever

Person 1: "The sky is obviously yellow"
Person 2: "Are you kidding me? That's ridiculous, first of all, the sky is no single color, but a multitude of colors, which reflect to us as a blueish color"
Person 1: "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken"
Person 2: "Damn"

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken by forcedlife94 December 16, 2011

too drunk to cum 

so drunk that you no longer have the ability to "cum"
this applies to both men and women

my bae was rock hard but hes too drunk to cum and now his dick is flaccid

too drunk to cum by sexplination June 7, 2014

drunk to puddles 

When one reaches a state of intoxication that likens them to a puddle.

Characterized by the following:
- An internal state of gushiness
- Being sprawled out or in a fetal position on the floor
- Having literally passed out in a puddle outside when trying to make it home.

Yo, did you see Alan last night? He was wicked drunk!

Yeah, that kid was drunk to puddles. I heard he hit on like six girls and then passed out at the bottom of the stairwell of his ex's apartment.

drunk to puddles by Alan & Aileen December 15, 2008

go-to-prison drunk 

adjective

1. So drunk, one gets thrown in jail
2.pertaining to or caused by extreme intoxication or intoxicated persons.
3. outrageous inebriattion

-"Did you see Will and Zach at the fair?"
-"Who didn't? They were go-to-prison drunk."

or..

They were throwing children through walls aka go-to-prison drunk.

go-to-prison drunk by OhGeeP April 17, 2011

Too Drunk To Fuck 

Originating from a Dead Kennedy's song. This occurs when someone drinking alcohol has had too much and is unable to sexually perform. See also TDTF.

"Dude we're almost on the second carton!"

"Yeah I'm Too Drunk To Fuck!"

Too Drunk To Fuck by mecha-streisand December 9, 2008

too drunk to mario 

adjective
so drunk that one is unable to grasp the concept of playing Mario, specifically Super Mario Galaxy, created for ages 6+.

a: man, last night was so shit faced.
b: yeah, dude. i was so sloppy that i was too drunk to mario.
a: wow, that's pretty bad. no wonder it took you all day to recover.

too drunk to mario by k123 February 24, 2008