Ingredients: One cutting knife, One cucumber, One red Dixie cup, One Gallapagose Turtle, and One willing woman. Begin by placing the cucumber in the woman's butt and cut the cucumber which gently sliding it out of the booty and place the cucumber slices on the turtle. Proceed to have sex with the woman. When the point of climax is reached, pull out and "jizz" into the Dixie cup. For the finale, throw the semen on the turtle, pick the turtle up, and bust the woman over the face with it. Truly an all time fantasy fulfiller...
Gregory performed the Three Eyed Turtle on me last night and it was jizztastic! I hope I have bruises for the next year!
by Big Dizzle December 16, 2004
Appeared in a 70's issue of National Lampoon describing a sex act involving a train situation - synonymous with "airtight" - one weenie in each of a woman's three orifices - oral, genital, and anal.
Jessica tried the French Kayak with the baseball team, but it was not as fulfilling as the Three-eyed Turtle.
by Rveil July 19, 2004
When you insert you penis and both balls into a womans vagina. Since you cannot thrust in and out you just kind of wiggle around until the woman is about to cum. Just before the woman cums you pull out and shove a rolled-up phone book (yellow pages are preferred) into her vagina as she cums.
Bob bring a phone book over so we can Three Eyed Turtle Ginny later.
by Rusty Rust March 12, 2010