1) A waste of time. 2) an unsatisfactory gain from a considerable investment. 3) Sexual assault during the course of public higher education. 4) The worst of a bad choice.

A derivation of a longer trueism: "You only go to a large state college to get raped, alcohol poisoning, and a substandard education." The first and the third (of that list) became synonymous with any situation involving getting the lesser two of any three unappealing options.
He went to the University of Massachusetts for four years and all he got was the first and the third.
by Crinkle Fantastic May 04, 2005

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Top Definition
The term "the first and the third" refers to the two days of the month on which individuals receiving government financial assistance get their funds. On these days, some low-income and government housing projects prohibit their residents from receiving visitors so that the funds are not mismanaged. Generally, the term refers to the distribution of federal aid money (and not the other negative connotation).
Examples in pop-culture:
"And make 'em feel good like the first and the third." (Jeezy, from the song "My Hood," off the album "Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101")
"Getting like like the first and the third." (Curren$y, from the song, "Coolie in the Cut," off the album "New Jet City")

Example of daily usage:
me: "Hi Caleb, I'm in the Tenderloin. Can I come visit?"
boyfriend: "No, it's the third. My building won't allow visitors today. People's checks just came in."
by donnauwanna October 05, 2016

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