|1.||the alyssa alibi|
the excuse you give your mother that you’re sleeping over her house or hanging out with her when in reality you’re with your boyfriend getting that dick.
chick: hey mom!! i'm going to alyssa's tonight. she makes amazing brownies and oreo truffles. mmm, so excited!
mom: okay sweetie.
*arrives to boyfriend's house*
chick's mind: ahh, the alyssa alibi.