|1.||The 10-Foot Hole|
A gigantic, ambulatory vaginal crevice that stalks unsuspecting men for prey. Can be heavily armed and highly dangerous.
Watch out for the 10-Foot Hole. If you see one, RUN.
A 5 to 10 foot hole in the center of a humans chest.
Celebs that have a crater - BOOGA, Steve the Queen, and Randy.
|3.||chuck norris:the real definition|
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.more...
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. (New!)
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacifi...
How to recognise a townie:more...
1. The female species of townie usually wear slutty tops that barely cover their nipples, and mini-skirts that barely cover their ass-crack. They also tend to wear make-up which makes their face look orange, and bright white eyeshadow which blind u if you look at it.
2. The male species wear trackies(with th double stripe down the side of their leg and arm) along with polished white trainers and a cap sticky-taped to the back of their heads, so that it can point towards the sky. Most of this can be bought from JJB, and other such classy stores.
3. Townies have a very distinguished way of "speaking", though most of the time u cant understand what their saying.
4. They hang around in large groups, usually outside shops such as Blockbusters, morrisons, tesco's etc... (mainly bcoz they hav been banned from coming within 10 miles of any respectable places) and can usually b found blasting their "music" out of their crappy cars in the middle of the night.
5. Townies listen mainly to pop and garage (people like peter andre and 'gangstas' who wud actually be shot if they put one foot in the ghetto)
Scrotum Slap: When the male flops his wrinkly ball sack out and fucking wacks his bitch around the face, aiming to inflict as much pain as possible whilst playing violently with her earlobes and sticking cocktail sticks in her eyes, if she screams smack her harder, if she pesists on screaming gag the dirty slut up and RAPE her not once not twice but three times continue in this motion until she stops and then persist the SCROTUM slap.more...
However, as many would have become aware, this sometimes does not work, so the following should be carried out:
1) ambush her in a dark alley
2) take her to somewhere dark
3) remove her skin
4) drink her blood
5) fuck her violently in between the toes
6) make her suck your dick whilst singing the australian anthem
7) then make her suck your dick whilst singing the african national anthem in chinese and dancing on 1 foot whilst cleaning the kitchen
8) make her shit in a cup and then eat it whilst she molestes an asian goat from africa
9)If none of these responses work persist in stalking her chasing her down tackle her if needed but once u have her right where you want her rip her pussy into 1 hole from her anal passage to her vagina and tell her to cook you your fucking dinner.
10) tell her that if she tells anyone about what happened that you'll dig up her dead mum and fuck the shit out of her until she turns to dust
11) if you have doughts of her letting the news out and telling be shure to tie her up in your basement and rap...
|6.||G.I. butt wipe|
During World wars I and II,American foot soldiers were only issued about 10 individual squares of toilet paper to keep backpack weight and volume to a minimum.If a soldier needed to wipe his butt,he would take one square of toilet paper and fold it into quarters. He would then tear out a semicircular portion from the common corner which left a hole in the middle of the paper when unfolded.He would then stick his forefinger through the hole and wipe his ass with the protruding finger. The paper was grasped at the base of the finger with the free hand while the soiled finger was slowly pulled free of the paper.The contaminated square was then discarded and the corner previously removed was used to clean from under the fingernail.
When the toilet paper roll starts getting low,I will generally implement the G.I. butt wipe procedure.
better than god and jesus put together
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.more...
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Sho...