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1. Santa Claus
Every boys idol because he's knows where all the naughty girls live.
Jonny: Santa, I just want something that will makes me really happy on Christmas Day.

Santa Claus: Well Jonny, I know what Jenny does when everyone else is asleep.
2. Stockton
A fairly decent little town, with an exceptionally high crime rate, and probably the drug capital of the state. SF and Santa Cruz have more stoners per capita than Stockton, but we've got twice the amount of crackheads, heroin addicts, coke fiends, and meth heads than anyone. For the most part though, so long as you stay away from the south side and schools like bear creek, franklin, or stagg, you'll be ok. The University of the Pacific is Stockton's local university, and surprisingly one of the best universities in the country. Stockton is also home to St. Mary's, a school that is full of primarily wealthy white people, however the racial balance of the school has shifted to primarily black over the last few years, which is weird because finding a wealthy black guy in stockton is like finding a poor jew in Florida. Although I went there, and I'm poor as shit, so i suppose you dont need too much money. In any case, Stockton also is home to one of the largest inland trading ports in the country, even though our main export is asparagus, go figure right? It is also impossible to live in Stockton and not be a little bit racist. Whites dont feel safe due to the large number of drug fiends and general thiefs that are black, and black people dont feel safe because of the corrupt white police officers. Asians and Mexicans just sort of float around the middle, generally talking shit on "the man" until 13 black guys jump them for being in the wrong area of town, then they go runnin...
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