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What we learned from the Schiavo case:

1) Jeb Bush, George W. Bush, and Tom Delay are all world renowned

2) 22 successive court battles that all ended in exactly the same way
means there is something wrong with the courts, not the Schindler's case.

3) Mike is after money which is why he turned down 1 million dollars
and 10 million dollars to sign over guardianship.

4) Congress and the State Legislature of Florida has nothing better to
do than pry into the private medical affairs of others.

5) Pulling life support is bad in Florida when authorized by the legal
next-of-kin, but pulling life support is good in Texas when you run out
of money and the mother pleads not to pull the plug on her baby.

6) Medical diagnoses are best performed by watching highly edited
videotape made by Randall Terry rather than in person by trained physicians.

7) Minimum wage making nursing assistants are more qualified to
diagnose a persistent vegetative state than experienced neurologists.

8) Cerebral spinal fluid is a magical potion that can mimic the entire
functions of a missing cerebral cortex.

9) 15 years in the same persistent state is not really enough time to
make an accurate diagnosis.

10) A feeding tube that infuses yellow nutritional goop is not really
"life support".

11) Jesus was wrong when he said that a man and woman should leave
their parents and cleave only to each other.

12) Marriage is the most sacred of all unions, except when it isn't.

13) Interfering in a family's private tragedy is a great reason to cut
short a vacation, but getting a memo that warns a known terrorist is
determine to strike inside the US is cause to relax and finish up some R&R.

14) Pro-lifers are really compassionate people which is why they are
hoping that Michael Schiavo dies a horrible painful death.

15) The Supreme Court of the United States and the State Supreme Court
of Florida mean "Maybe" when they are saying "No!".

16) Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a bleeding heart liberal.

17) 7 Supreme Court Justices were appointed by republican presidents,
so it's Clinton's fault.

18) A judge who makes rulings based on the law is obviously an
atheist, liberal, democratic activist even though he is a conservative,
republican, Southern Baptist.
by anonymous April 11, 2005
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What happens when you deprive yourself of potassium intake by being a bulimic for years and drinking 15 glasses of iced tea a day, causing a heart attack when you're 26 years old.
Terri Schiavo should be the poster girl for an anti-eating disorder campaign.
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1. A single death is a tragedy; a million is a statistic.
2. Not a person who was "tortureed and starved to death," certainly not by "liberals," due to the fact that she, with all due respect, was lacking of the mental capactity to feel it. Challenge this, if you'd like to argue with the professionals who examined her.
3. A "great political issue" that will surely be beneficial to the republican "pro-life base"
4. A subject of bias by those who like to feel better about themselves by saying that a human life can never be taken away without evidence of consent. Although at the same time she was given little hope for recovery after 15 years and had lost, to quote, 40% of her brain functions? By the way, Christians: this woman WAS delayed going to heaven for those 15 years while upsetting generally innocent people like you, right?
5. An alternative use for money (appox. 100,000 a year) that could have prevented thousands of deaths but was instead spent on one life (see above) and bolstered the USs pathetic attempt at aid after the recent tsunami tragedy. Why? Just because it makes you LOOK better at yourself morally? Meanwhile some poor kid cries for his dead family in the ruins of his Indonesian village? Live with that, "human beings."
A Note- Before anyone starts mutilating my definition and my name: no I am not a commie for recognizing an intelligent paradoxial remark, or a fag because you have pms, or even a liberal. I am, however, a "loser" because I am different. That's right. I'm Green.
"Liberal"- Look, Terri is not going to recover.
"A Human Being"- you democratic, fetus killing fucking fag! How could you do this to ANY person?!?! I'll remove YOUR feeding tube and those of all your satanic fellows!
"Liberal"- I am humbled by your overpowering belief in life (ahem)
by bandar bush April 07, 2005
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4 dead
(Cue techno music to "James Brown is Dead" by L.A. Style.)
Now some of these wackjobs can get back to their own depraved lives.
by R. Kemp March 31, 2005
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A woman in Florida in a persistant vegetative state whose situation is being used by conservative sons of bitches for political grandstanding. If Republicans are all for the sanctity of marriage, why don't they want to honor the husband's wishes? Bush signed a law back when he was governor of Texas that left the decision of pulling the plug to the hospital if the families couldn't pay insurance, and because of this, a baby died in a Texas hospital even when it's mother wanted to keep it alive. The husband has the authority in this case and Terri's been like this for 15 years. I think God's been waiting for her up in heaven for all those years.
This Terri Schiavo mess is making us liberals sick. That's right, I'm a liberal and proud of it conservative mother fuckers!
by conservatives go to HELL! March 27, 2005
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What happens to you when you suffer from anorexia or bulimia.
"God I'm starving" ---Terri Schiavo
by Nigby December 07, 2006
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...died today. Let's stop arguing about her, all right? Be nice to one another.
Let her rest in peace, and hopefully her husband and parents can stop arguing over funeral arrangements.
by RIP Terri March 31, 2005
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