telepalmter

1. A memory tool used to help with answers to interview questions or tests made by writing things on the palm of ones hand. It is most commonly used by middle school children and former half term governors.

Sarah Palin crossed out the word "Budget" on her telepalmter because talking about the budget is too hard.

telepalmter by rkdrc February 7, 2010

telepalmpter

Use of the palm of one's hand for speeches and interviews, rather than relying on a (gasp!) teleprompter.

Sarah Palin used her telepalmpter so as not to be likened to President Obama using a teleprompter for speeches that are actually coherent and not word salad.

telepalmpter by telepalmpter February 13, 2010

Telepharmavangelism

(tell-a-farm-a-van-gelism)
Found in the song "Symptom Finger" by The Faint, a word that encompasses the vast market of quick fix drugs (weight-loss, anti-depressants, sleeping pills, etc.) found on television. The "symptoms" usually appear with the ad/commerical and commonly aren't "real."
- telepharmavangelist

1.
"They're selling these great weight-loss pills on TV! They'll even give you a free seven-day sample!"

"No, don't get them. Its just telepharmavangelism."

2.
"Man, thats a good telepharmavangelist! Listening to him makes me want to buy the anti-depressants and make my life more full and joyful!"

3.
"You've got to get the shit they sell;
The pills that fix the way to feel.
Now they've shown you what to get,
You feel it coming on."

Telepharmavangelism by P. Hamster March 18, 2008

telepalmer 

The new, more genuine, folksier alternative to a teleprompter. Consists of writing notes on the palm of your hand, then consulting them while delivering a speech on national television.

"The telepalmer? I think she did it on purpose. I think she did it on purpose, yeah. Because it’s the exact opposite of reading off the teleprompter with a script written for you with every word in a sentence. Here she’s just taking crib notes on her hand. It makes her look like she can just talk off the cuff and she just jotted down a few couple notes before she went out to give a big long speech."

telepalmer by Moggraider February 9, 2010

telepleasure 

Using a device over a teleconference session to stimulate the partner on the other end. Not necessarily the same as teledildonics. Credit to Jason Erb.

"Kissing via Facetime didn't provide much telepleasure, but it was better than nothing."

telepleasure by bargonaut December 23, 2016

Telegasm 

An orgasm a person has while watching, listening to, or reading about an erotic experience via an electronic communication device such as a television, a radio, or a computer.

"The movie I was watching was so sensual that I had a chair-shaking telegasm!"

Telegasm by Neezer28 July 8, 2009

teleslam 

The process of simultaneously telecommunicating and slamming, defined as defecating, at the same time.

Nick: Hey Gina, do you ever teleslam?
Gina: Yeah, I do it all the time.
Everyone in the room: Ohhhhhhhhhh...
Gina: What? I do.
Awkward Silence*

teleslam by Tyler McCreless September 20, 2009