Specimen; Teeny Bopper ; (genus; Teenikin bopperili.)
In this case, we are observing the ‘AzN~~~~’ subspecies of TB, each race, generally has their own kind of TB, but this is the one I am most familiar with.
Likes: Name Brands, Any car that was featured on Initial D, Morning Glory, Sanrio, Zogabi, Sticker Photos, Dream Photos, Daytona, Counter-strike, WarCraft, Bitching, Backstabbing, Heavily Peroxided Hair.
Dislikes: Not being able to afford name brands, Other TB’s, Anyone deemed ‘cooler’ than themselves, People who don’t wear name brands, people with black hair, anyone that isn’t AzN~~~~.
Can Be Seen At: LAN Café’s, VA, Excalibur, Whitehouse, Chapel St, Outside underage Club venues (most popular being Salt, Soul, Red, Blue, Green, Magenta.), Hanging around State Library, Sticker Photo shops, Morning Glory, the “CT”, Box Hill, “Glenny” “Shoppo”
Can’t Live Without: Mobile Phone (with enough dangly decorations to cause a landslide, and little fluffy things the size of a small child, and photo compatibility to add to their plethora of photos taken with all their TB friends they don’t actually like), Trends to follow, “Pocket Money” (has been known to rival the family fortune of some lower income households.)
(Towards Males) Ridiculously Cute, Ditzy, Disarmingly Nice, (This, is scientifically proven to be all an act, to attract a TB of the opposite sex, who, unknowingly will be sucked dry (emotionally, financially, more the latter) and discarded in a few weeks. Much like those Praying Mantis things you see on the Discovery Channel.)
(Towards Females) Calculating (ie. Breast size, or in fact, any evidence of chestal baggage whatsoever), Cold, Extremely Snobby, Backstabbing, General Bitch. (When Males of the genus are not around, the real personality of the Female ‘AzN’ TB comes to the fore. Most evident in the many enemies they make during their regular incursions into other TB’s territories (The female of the species is much like the Male of certain large predatory cats, in that they roam a wide and well defined boundary, with a desired number of Males within, worshipping them. The only time a Male will see this side, is when they are in a relationship with one, and by then it is too late.)
(Towards Females) Overtly Loud Mouthed trash talking gangsters.
(Towards Males) Overtly Loud Mouthed trash talking gangsters. Extremely Competitive, love talking themselves up. Tends to over exaggerate, everything, including attractiveness, their “admirers”, and their “rice ride”.
-------------Disting uishing Features
Hair colour: Never ever Black, due to perceived ‘uncoolness’ of having
a natural hair colour. Can vary from either “I washed my hair with industrial strength cleaner” blonde to “I have just enough colouring to be cool” brown. May also involve highlights of other, cuteness enhancing colours.
Hair Style: Whatever is trendy in Japan/Hong Kong/Korea. Hair if needed to be clipped, usually full of “cuteness enhancing” pink/blue hello kitty/pucca/blue bear/morning glory clips. Takes at least 45 minutes to create. Is more artificial than biological, due to repeated chemical straightening/permin g treatments. There has been an cases of the hair actually taking on a life of it’s own, and controlling the TB itself (Because of the little difference in demeanour between a regular TB and one affected with the above disorder is so minute, the number of victims is unknown.)
Hair Colour: See Females. Although, replace cuteness with ‘Hardcaw gangstaZ’
Hair Style: There are two main types. Down or Up. Down is either a middle part, or something stemming from the “middle part” (commonly known as ‘Default Asian Hair’) “Up” generally involves…. Well… spikes… depending on ‘hardcoreness’ the length of the spikes increase accordingly. Has been compared to stelecmites and antlers on a deer. Both involving an environmentally unfriendly amount of hair product, sometimes even more than the Female TB.
-------------Clothin g: Generally, extremely fixated on brand names (that they’ve stolen, or haggled from some black market in Chinatown or Malaysia), and will go to no end to bring up talk about clothes in general conversation, just so they can talk about what brand they are wearing. “Hey, like my new pants/top/scarf?”
Would Like: Anything by Ralph Lauren, Banana Republic, Sass and Bides, etc.
Actually Wears: Supre, Miss Shop, Misc. Imitation Clothes from South East Asia, Anything deemed cute or “KaWaAaIiizZzZ~~~!!¬ !~~” by peers. Also, has an abnormal affinity with scarves and spray-paint jeans (with flares that can envelope a developing nation), even in hot weather. Very fickle, and will change entire wardrobe according to what the girl they hate is wearing. Simliar to normal girls clothes, but usually 1 or 5 sizes smaller. Wardrobe in severe cases is worth more than the house which houses them.
Would Like: Anything by Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfinger, Hugo Boss etc.
Actually Wears: Mooks, Giodarno, Stussy, Imitation Clothes from South East Asia
Exclusively dresses in the colours: white black and tan. Clothes are either on the “suss” side of tight, or the “homeboy” side of baggy (usually with the waistband hovering about the skinny boy’s ankles).
TB’s speak in a total sub dialect of English, which normal people have the capability of understanding, but this involves an incredible amount of brainpower that only 60% of the population possesses. When speaking the males of the species tend to say “Man” “Yo” “bro” “dude” and “sup” a lot, interspersed with a lot of grunting and head nodding. The Females, on the other hand, are somewhat at the other hand of the scale, as they tend to run words together, producing an entirely incomprehensible babble eg: “weeeeeiiheywhatchuu ptotodayhowyabeenive beenkewlhaveyouseenm ynewscarfisntitcuteo hmygodmyphonesringin gsorry”.
Their language deteriorates even more online, where communicating with a TB is akin to talking to a Giant SMS message, with more pictures. Eg. Common phrases encountered online include:
Hi, how are you?
"e3iOwO3zZ HuNN4iiZz~!!! mwAahZ~! wAtcHuZ b3eN aRpzZ `2~~~??"
I must be going now, I’ll talk to you another time.
"o3wZz~~ ai` gOtz tA gO3Z bUbBi3Z~~~ iMMa tOrk `2 yOoHz `8rZ mMk4iiZ~??"
"bUh`b4iZz~~!! MwaHhZz~!! LuB chUuZ~!!! (k)(l)(f)"
“OmiiGaWdzZ~~!!! OmGzZzzZZZ~!!!!!!!!1 11one”
I don’t think that girl is very nice.
“OmiFaRk`N gAwDzzZ dAt b!tCh~???!!!!?!!!”
I find that hilarious.
“LoLLi3z~!!! rOfFl3Zz~!! LoOlzZ~!! K3k3k3k.. shOo faRn3yZ~~!!!??!!”
Do you like the present I received from my boyfriend; isn’t it pretty?
“OmiGaWdzZ~~~aAAwwWz z~~ mAii bOO gAb diZ 2 me3hZ~!! ai LuBz mAi huNnaiiZ~~!!!! itSh shOo pw3ttiii~!!!!”
I don’t know.
“iuNnOeZz~!!” or “ieRnO3z~~!!” or “*shwuGz*”
Hello how are you? - "supz" or “sarp” commonly followed by “man, dude or manGz”
Yes, thank you - "yer"
No, I dont want to - "nar"
I don’t know. - “the fk?”
I've got to go, i'll speak to you again another time. - "gtg man"
Goodbye - "l8r"
I find her very attractive - "fkn hot bish"
Oh my, that news really surprises me - "fk man"
I think you are being unfair, and hostile. - "fk u man"
Perhaps you should think before you say something quite so unjust? - "stfu newb"
Would you like to accompany me upon an outing? - "go cs man"
---------------Gener al Language Notes
How to say “love”: luV, LuBz, wuV, wuBz, h34rTz, riC3 bOi 4 foUndaSh`N kwe3n, me3hZ 4 yoOhZ, and the most perplexing of them all…
“eshtOOhs” - is "ess, too".. meaning, "s" and "2".. meaning.. "s2" meaning.. "heart".. meaning "love"; “OmiGawDzZ RiC3 bOi esHtOOhZ FoUndAsHuN Kw3eN”.
Affectionate names: huN, huNnaiiZ, beYbiiZ, baiBaiZ, buBbi3z, buU, bOO
1. asian teeny bopper
oHmahGwdz .. lOokS aT diS .. sOo fKen PweTtyFulLiEzz ..~~!
2. normal person
hey, look , this looks really nice.
Stupid girls of ages 10-14 who squeal and giggle so much that Satan is willing to drag them back to hell. They brag about their boyfriends and show them off during lunch by sitting in a table full of shitty stupid 'couples'. They like pink and listen to stupid bubblegum pop and think they are teenagers and try to hard to act like them. They cry when they see a pimple...FOR FUCKIN SAKE ITS JUST A PIMPLE!!! IT'LL GO AWAY AND WHO THE HELL WILL CARE IF YOU HAVE A PIMPLE!!!??? They think they're all that and dress in pink, purple, mini-skirts, and T-shirts that say, 'Pop princess', or 'Ms. Attitude' and other crap like that. They like typing like this: 'l00k AnN I hAvE a NeW cElL!!! I kAn sLeEp OvEr yay!!! Like We CaN caLl up the B0iZ and pAiNt oUr naILz!!! g2g bi!!!!' it is so annoying. They think they're all that just because they have 'boyfriends'. They don't know the true definition of that word. They often write in their online journals, 'I lOvE jAsOn hE iS sO HotT I waNna Kiz hiM!!!!' When asked about their favorite hobby, they all scream like sluts, "SHOPPING!!!!"
Bopper: Hi WuSsUp hOmIe???
Me: You boppers suck serious ass. O_o
The ethnic group Hitler would focus on instead if he were alive today.
Teeny Bopper: Let's all get ice-cream sodas!
Hitler: Kommen sie um!
Teenage whore. They like to listen to shit music to be in a group. They flock around their tvs watchin MTV to see whats hip. They deck themselves out at hot topic to be like avril laving or good charlote or wear skimpy clothes when they are fat as hell and have backacne to be like britney spears. they always watch american idol and always vote for the gay guy. they are one of the most hated people in the world, next to terrorists.
Breaking news: The government ordered the genocide of teeny boppers.
An odd species of n00b that displays the following traits...
-Fond of MTV, Good Charlotte, the like.
-Plumage usually black with hot pink mixed in, markings usually in the form of the words "Punk Princess."
-Natural watering hole is a chatroom, where they use their mating call, which sounds like this. "LOL!!!111!Z liek aslz!143e12!!!"
Easiest way to kill them is disembowelment. Don't go for the head, they're like roaches.
"Break out the frags, guys, it's Teeny Bopper season."
A girl obsessed with pop culture, gossip and throwing up in bathrooms after meals in an attempt to fit in, act more mature or be cooler. This is often an attempt to overcompensate for other insecurities. They are also attention whores. Teeny Boppers are usually 10-16 years of age, or are college students with the mentality of a 10-16 year old.
If they are 18+ teeny boppers, they usually have no direction in life other then “I am an aspiring actress/dancer” while working as a hooters waitress and getting drunk on weekends. By the time they are 30, they usually have 8 out of style tattoos, 3 kids from 20 fathers, 50 extra pounds (if not more), and shoot heroin. They are often slaves to their hormones and emotions. They are incredibly friendly and fun loving one minute, then turn psycho and obsessive the next.
Last night at the club, I took home a teeny bopper chick. Dude, they are so easy but wont shut the fuck up.
Some retarded little girl who is musically obsessed with talentless people in the music industry that only appeal to their own girly interests in male dicks. These supplying artists also tend to be idiots hogging up the T.V. where valuable cartoons and actual teenage actors used to perform on. The teeny boppers are destroying the music industry by constantly supplying industries like the now notorious Disney Corporation, or Shinra Corporation (for those of you who get the reference).
Teeny Bopper: OMFG IT's THE JONAS BROTHERS, MILEY CYRUS, TAYLOR SWIFT, JUSTIN BIEBER, etc. etc.
Me: Go jump off a cliff and die. Everybody knows that Michael Jackson was the only real, honest pop musician and these guys are fakers for $$$$.
Usually females from the ages of 10-15, who obsess over pop-punk bands, thinking they are hardcore, and are convinced they are married to one of them. They drive real fans insane and are hated by most intelligent people. They dress like slutty preps and their scream names are usually something along the lines of ***PuNk PrInCeSs 4 LyFe!!*** They also cannot complete a sentence without using the word "like" at least 5 times.
Lets kill all the teeny boppers, the world will be a better place.