A modality by which corporations can make marketing claims of providing assistance without actually having to provide any.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Hi, my name is Tech Support Person J. (10337). How may I help you?
> Customer: hi
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Hello.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Before we begin, I need to ask a few questions that will help me assist you better.
> Customer: if i give you a serial number, can you tell me 1)who it was sold
> to
> originally and/or 2)the history of the product?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Can I have your name please?
> Customer: Customer
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Thank you Customer.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): May I have the model and version of your device?
> Customer: model wpg54g
> Customer: it has no version info
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): How about your phone number with the area code?
> Customer: 305-xxx-xxxx
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Thank you for giving all these information.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): What is the problem you are experiencing with your
> XYZ Company product?
> Customer: did you read my first question?
> Customer: all i want to know is if i give you a model and serial number,
> can
> XYZ Company tell me who originally bought the product?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Customer I'm sorry but I can't.
> Customer: who can?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Customer where did you get router?
> Customer: i am looking to buy it -
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I see.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I suggest you buy it in Retail Company.
> Customer: i am looking to XYZ Company for a simple answer: can ANYONE in
> XYZ Company
> tell me who FIRST purchased a product - if i provide model and serial
> number
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): The customer.
> Customer: what does "the customer" mean?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I see.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): The retailers ordered the product from XYZ Company and
> the consumer purchased it from the feratilers.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Retailers I mean.
> Customer: lets try this again: WHO DID XYZ Company SELL THE PRODUCT TO
> "INITIALLY"?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): XYZ Company is the manufacturer.
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): And the retailers are the distributors.
> Customer: can i speak with a supervisor that may be able to understand this
> simple question?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): XYZ Company sell there products to the retailers.
> Customer: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I'm sorry for that.
> Customer: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay.
> Customer: again, can i speak with a supervisor
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I'm sorry but there is no supervisor available at here
> Customer: what? do you work alone, and un-supervised?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Yes, I can answer that question. What is your phone number and I can help you.
> Customer: i already gave you my phone number. all i want to know is to whom did XYZ Company sell a product to
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): Okay. Yes, XYZ Company sells products.
> Customer: now, to WHOM - to what person - to what company - did XYZ Company sell one particular product to?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): You can buy one product at Retail Company.
> Customer: is Retail Company the only company XYZ Company sells products to?
> Tech Support Person J. (10337): I see. When you buy a XYZ Company its the Retail Company.
> Customer: great, another waste of time tech support ordeal via india.
by M.r.S August 05, 2006
9 more definitions
Top Definition
A phone line provided by companies so that they can say that they support their products and services. Their philosophy is that the longer you spend on the phone, and the more menus and people you talk to, the more you feel valued as a customer. On the other line you will find:

1) A person who is proficient in communicating to you how inferior you are to their intellect.
2) A person who lacks the language skills to communicate proficiently, but does their best to make you feel inferior to their intellect.
3) A recorded menu system that somehow manages to communicate your inferiority to its intellect.
"I just spent three hours on tech support. Take the gun out of the shoebox in the closet and shoot me."
by manchld September 21, 2004
the meaningless job that all Devry drop outs get stuck with becuase they are to lazy to graduate college, but just smart enough to piss someone off on the phone and accidently hang up on them because i'm so goddamn pissed off that i just tried to hang myself with my phone cord but i'm such a raging pansy that everytime i get close to blacking out i freak out and just continue on with the call. Tech support reps are the most pent up raging potential violent crimnals in America. I hate my life and i don't give a shit if you can't get on the internet.
Caller:i can't get on the internet
Tech Support: is your computer on.
Caller:uh... is that the big gray box or the small black one?
Tech:(on mute:Kill me now God.) The big one.
Caller:it's supposed to be on?
Tech:(on mute: why do you allow people to live God?)Yes Sir.
Caller: Well give me a minute and i'll turn it on.
Tech:(on mute- You stupid ass hole turn on your goddamn computer before you call, i hate you,your wife,your children even your cat, i hate your cat.) Sure thing Sir take your time.(since i've got all f-ing day.) That's what i'm here for.
Caller: Your such a nice person to be so patient with me.
Tech: Thank you sir.(on mute-i wish death on you. Why? why did i deserve this living hell?)

STOP CALLING ME I HATE ALL OF HUMANITY. That's tech support
by TSPAUL January 20, 2006
People that live in India, Indians.
"I can't understand a goddamn word that guy from tech support said."
by Ford February 19, 2005
the people that help with ID "10" T errors
people that are dumb call tech support
by Dave April 06, 2004
interjection
an expression of gratitude, used when someone comes through for you.
note on usage: cannot be used as an adjective
Person 1: "Shit, I forgot my wallet!"
Person 2: "It's cool, it's on me."
Person 1: "Tech support."

Improper use: "It was totally tech support when you came through for me on that kidney transplant."
by epl May 26, 2008
A service offered by companies unable to create products that work consistently and/or at all. Most often available via telephone, this service involves one or more employees asking for all of your information short of your fucking eye color, after which, said one or more employees will offer vague, unhelpful suggestions that can already be found in your appliance's manual. If none of said vague, unhelpful suggestions result in an unlikely success, employees will lamely request you attempt to turn off, and turn back on said appliance, after which said employee will A: Disconnect your call or B: Transfer you to an equally unhelpful department.
Tech support: Hello, this is 1-800-WEREUSELESS, how may we be of assistance to you?

Dave: Hi, I'm phoning because I can't seem to turn my computer on.

Tech support: I'll need some information first, is that okay with you sir?

Dave: Sure, go ahead.

Tech support: Age?

Dave: 43.

Tech support: Name?

Dave: Dave.

Tech support: Account number and password?

Dave: I kind of forget. Where could I find those?

Tech support: Length of your fully erect reproductive organ?

Dave: What?

Tech support: I'm sorry sir, let me transfer you to the Baby Clothing department.
by Haven R. May 06, 2008
n. elaborate or deceptive underwiring in intimate garments.
Don't be fooled. Those girls in I.T. are getting a lot of help from tech support.

It can be hard to navigate in a wireless mode when you're used to a lot of tech support.
by gnostic1 September 18, 2010

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