| 1. | tech suckport | ||
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English inproficient people, most of who are from China and India, that you must call when you are experiencing errors that make a software product unusable. If you can get a person that can speak some slight resemblance of the English language, consider yourself very lucky. Even then 99% percent of the time they will not be of any help whatsoever, and cause further confusion and even more errors. Bob: This program is not working. Why don't I call Tech Support?
Joe: You mean Tech Suckport. Bob: Yes (Bob picks up the phone and dials the number for Tech Suckport) Tech Suckport: Yellow. Meecrosof Tack Supaut. Ho ceen I hail yu? Bob: Hello, I'm having this problem with source control in VSS 2005. Tech Suckport: Wayt? Ee cent har ya? Bob: Do you know how to speak Engllsh? Tech Suckport: Ee don eendursta yo? Yo ned tack lauder. Bob: I said DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH? Tech Suckport: Aa. Ingle. I spek vahy god Ingle. Bob: OK, can you please help me with my problem? Tech Suckport: Yue prubleeme? Wat prubleeme ees. Plece tai me mah detuh. Ees prubleeme fatulleruh? Bob: My problem is with Visual Source Safe. Yes it's a fatal error. Tech Suckport: Oh Visah Sauce Saf. I don no no Sauce Saf. Eys nat mee specsalty. I well geetcowolka huno Sauch Saf. Bob: Can your coworker speak English? Tech Suckport: Oh yays. He takeen Eeassellcaws een skull. He leerning god Anglees een Eeassellcaws. I git hem no. Bob: Never mind. It's hopeless. Tech Suckport: No eederstend yu senteez. Pless repit. (Bob slams down the phone) |
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