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A hot to insanely hot chick who literally hangs out with or takes care of retards, so that they scare away all the guys that are chasing after them.
Joe: Crystal is so fucking hot. Why is she always hanging around retards?
Ferguson: She used to be fending off guys left and right, would even get stalked. Now she's a tard hag so they'd leave her alone.
by Floopston February 10, 2012