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1. Symptom #5
Diarrhea, as it is the fifth symptom listed under Pepto Bismol's Symptom Rap.

Nausea
Heartburn
Indigestion
Upset Stomach
*Diarrhea*
I ate some wings at Gators Dockside and got some serious symptom #5 afterwards. And I didn't get dome.
2. Activision
the visual impairment caused by playing too much Guitar Hero, DJ Hero, Band Hero, or Rock Band that makes it seem like the background and foreground are melting while the middle-ground stays still.

this symptom nearly always falls in conjunction with, but is not exclusively tied too any of the following: dizziness, Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, loss of friends, loneliness, virginity, false feelings of self accomplishment, pretending to know how to pretend to play the guitar, turntables, drums, etc.. excessive use of air-drums, air-guitar, amateurish beat boxing, and or scratching motions with one's middle and forefingers.

if someone you know is experiencing activision, DON'T PANIC!! chances are they are not your friend anyway and it is recommended that a doctor be consulted before realizing that there isn't shit you can do about it short of mercilessly, but lovingly beating them with their own plastic instruments. this will cure the activision, and leave you feeling satisfied and relieved.
inflicted: "woah... the room looks like its melting"

person: "that's called activision. it happened because youve been in a dark room for 5 hours trying to beat "through the fire and the flames" on expert and didnt stop to give your eyes a rest"
3. Emilitus
A pychological condition that stems from an utter infatuation with or affinity towards any person named Emily, Emilia, or Emilz ("E"). It listed as an Axis-II personality disorder "mental illness" by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Labeling it as a "mental illness" or "disorder" is somewhat misleading as it's noted symptoms are rarely, if ever, negative. The DSM-IV lists 7 symptoms of Emilitus, 5 of which must have been experience in no more than a one week period for an accurate diagnosis. These symptoms include: overwhelming feeling of euphoria when near this particular("E"); a persistant feeling of discontent when apart from "E"; constant desire for physical intimacy of any kind with "E"; mutual fits of spontaneous, uncontrollable laughter with "E"(a.k.a. Ridiculitus); inability to stop smiling when with or talking to "E"; constantly having and acting on the urge to stare psuedo-creepily at the stimulus and say "Yeah" in an psuedo-creepy voice; and incessently hearing the song "Ride" in one's head
Ridiculitus is a symptom and subcategory of Emilitus. Ridiculitus refers to shared fits of uncontrollabe laughter that have no primary cause outside of Emilitus.
4. champagne brain
the crazy, severe hangover you get the morning after ballin out of control and consuming copious amounts of champagne.
The very painful, main symptom that occurs whilst experiencing a champagne brain is the unmistakable feeling that the bubbles from the drink are eating your brain alive.
After Michelle finished having it rain on her, Diddy bought her 5 bottles of Cristal. Too bad they both woke up with champagne brain.
5. swine flu
1. The media's half-baked idea to cause the world to enter a state of complete pandemonium as a result of a lack of natural disasters (e.g. Red River flooding) to increase viewership or readership.

2. The government's plot to seek an alternative route to curing our economical situation by creating unnecessary drama in the field of pandemics that will supposedly spark a large creation of jobs in the cleaning product industry, and a trillion dollar profit margin, thanks in part to our gullibility as humans.

3. The hysterical hockey/soccer moms' excuse for contributing to the closing down of schools across the country, while students come into contact with one another more often outside of school than in school. Don't tell me kids are more susceptible to dying or being harmed from the swine flu as opposed to choking on a hot dog, getting hit in the head with a baseball, or falling off of a trampoline.

4. A future Michael Moore documentary that will be renamed "Pandemic Pandemonium".

5. A pandemic that will surely result in the mass hatred, execution, and genocide of pigs throughout the world.
"Oh, dear, Bob, you're experiencing a severe case of hysteria. That's a symptom! You better get yourself checked in!"

"Oh my, Bob, you look awfully run down. Are you sure you're alright?" *presses hands to cheeks* "SWINE FLU! EVERYBODY RUN!"

"Bob! They're evacuating the country to Mexico! Everyone's fleeing! This is not a drill! THIS IS A PANDEMIC!" *tornado siren* "Should I tell him that's where it originated? Nah..."
6. Post Poo Piss
The process of urinating after an extensive bowel movement; PPP can occur regardless of urine passing initially, or at any time related to a particular toilet visit.

After bowel movement, PPP will both relieve and assure the participant that the visit is over. PPP is also known to cause a side symptom of drooling or salivation along with eye watering; the exact cause of this is still unconfirmed, but is linked to relief and satisfactory from various glands in the human body.
Human 1.) Are you still in the toilet?
Human 2.) Yeah, sorry taking a bit of time.
Human 3.) I thought you were going for a number 2? I can hear you urinating.
Human 4.) Don’t fret; it’s just the latter end of Post Poo Piss.
Human 5.) Oh, okay. Don’t drool on the floor, I just hoovered in there.
7. Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome
Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome (DMWS) is an erection of the male genitalia that would normally occur after one wakes up, but is heavily delayed and occurs at a later time in the morning. 3 in 5 men are affected by this syndrome on a day to day basis. This generally gives the male extreme discomfort, as they try to hide it from others.
(Sitting on the bus, looking down) Shit, I got Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome!

(Walking down street, looks down) Damn it! DMWS again!

Friend 1: Come on! Erected in the morning?
You: Sorry, it's DMWS.
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