Turns out this sick nasty disease surfaced sometime on October 15th 1985. This rare condition not only attacks alcohol dehydrogenase, it accounts for drinks that you imagined drinking. The symptoms are easy to identify. The afflicted host will act excessively drunk, try to leave parties on new year's eve to hang with chicks in a different town, get dry humped in jacuzzi bathtubs, get knob jobs from the heinous spawn of lucifer, and disappear to do work in the lavish lobby of your local Holiday Inn. The Bill and Melinda Gates foundation has provided 3 billion dollars to research this horrible affliction, but no cure is visible within the near future. Stephen Hawking proposed the Quantum Black Vortex of Drinking Theorem, which states that claiming to and not letting anyone see you drink 22 'biers' can induce the same level of alcoholic euphoria present after someone pounds 15 shots of Wolfschmidt in 12 minutes. Turns out that this disease is communicable and can survive in the air for excess of 15 months. Just this past Wednesday, Brian exhibited extreme symptoms after only 3 beers. He attained level 4 Bloomitis, just below level 5, which only occurs in one person, claiming to say that his tolerence is lower now, such that he can start feeling "it" after only 8 beers in 15 minutes. Basically, Chris and Alex get ridiculous after only a few drinks and claim they had about "18 nasty shots of Jaeger after the sweet 30 rack of IceHouse"

A program started in the 1920's to 1930's to support women who's job was to stay home and take care of the kids and run the house. Women were not allowed or encouraged to work, and as so, were unable to support themselves after a divorce. Somehow, the program has continued until this day, since the modern woman is apparently still unable to care for herself, or provide for herself. The system is flawed in several ways, the main one being that if the modern day family decides to keep the "mom/honey bunny" at home, the dad must usually find a high paying job or work much overtime to make up the missing income from his loving spouse staying at home. Its a good deal the first year as mom has playdates for the kids, dinner on the table, clean house, etc. After the novelty of marrige for the woman has worn off, after about 12 months, The downward spiral begins. Mom stops cooking, spends the day out shopping with friends, banging everyone but their husband, no dinner cooked when the husband gets home, and sure as hell no clean underware in the drawer. Credit card debt starts just to pay the monthly bills, Husband tries to get MORE overtime to keep credit cards from building and that helps for a while. Just want to make honey bunny happy and give her everything she desires...right?! After year #3 the husband starts to think in the back of his mind that they are in trouble, Wifey poo knew after the first year when she started banging the mail man, cable guy, and everyone at the loc...

A small Jesuit college in Baltimore, MD. *Lots* of pretty girls go here, which is mad sweet for the guys because the ratio is 7 girls to every 3 guys. It is a challenging learning environment which with its name on your resume is certain to get you a sick job (especially if you go to the business school).

I Love Lucy is a television sitcom that aired in the 1950s. During that time, it was the most popular American sitcom. It starred comedienne Lucille Ball, her husband Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance and William Frawley. The series ran from October 15, 1951 to May 6, 1957 on CBS (180 episodes, including the "lost" Christmas episode). This show was ranked #2 on TV Guide's top 50 greatest shows of all time in 2002, behind Seinfeld and ahead of The Honeymooners. The program was filmed at Desilu, the production studio jointly owned by Ball and Arnaz.
The sitcom was based on a radio show starring Lucille Ball and Richard Denning called My Favorite Husband. Denning was enthusiastic to continue his role as Ball's husband, but Ball wanted her real-life husband, Cuban-born musician Desi Arnaz, to play her onscreen spouse. Studio heads were worried that American audiences would not find such a "mixed marriage" to be believable, and were concerned about Arnaz's heavy Cuban accent. But Ball was adamant, and they were eager to have her in the part. To help sway their decision, Ball and Arnaz put together a vaudeville act featuring his music and her comedy, which was well received in several cities. In the end, CBS agreed, but refused to let Desi Arnaz's role be part of the show's title (as in "Lucy and Ricky"). After lengthy negotiations, Arnaz relented and agreed to "I Love Lucy", reasoning that the "I" would be his part.
Arnaz persuaded Karl Freund, cinematographer of Fritz Lang's Metropol...

Everyone alive has at least some harpos in them. Harpos can be used as a noun or an adjective to describe a person or object, but is almost always used in plural form. harpos is a close cousin of redneck and white trash. There are countless things that are harpos, but here are some examples of harpos in no particular order:
nascar, flannel shirts, american flag bandanas, roseanne the tv show, rolling a cigarette pack in you're sleeve, playing horseshoes, trash can bbq's, salsbury steak tv dinners, George W. Bush, cut-off jean shorts, oldsmobile, people who watch pro wrestling, louisiana, walker texas ranger, arby's roast beef sandwich is delicious, mississippi, cut up hot dogs with mac & cheese, cleaning driveway oil stains w/ old boxers, steel reserve, pabst blue ribbon, olde english, eating hot dogs/burgers with white bread, cowboy boots, alabama, anyone who has a mural painted on their van, truckers who take shits on the side of the road, blue collar comedy tour, gummo, farting and burping loud while pissing, hunting squirrel for food, wife beaters, chewing tobacco and spitting it in a 7up bottle, having a tire swing, chain smoking, foil antennas on your tv, moonshine, otterpops, store brand canned soup, camelflouge clothing, insane clown posse, couches in the front yard, getting in a knife fight with a family member, yucaipa, bakersfield, lynyrd skynard, missing front teeth, living in a trailer, overalls, straw hats, chewing straw, using a washboard to wash clothes o...

GOD - the AWESOME creator, who is full of LOVE, out of his love came all the Universe, stars, sun, moons, milky way, earth, plants and animals and human beings!! And HE had a special place in his heart for us, human beings, for we were created to be united with HIM after our lives on earth, when our souls leave this human form or body. HE loved us so much that HE Himself came dowon to earth, showing us how to live our lives so as to be reunited with HIM (for that's where we came from!!) - but since what HE said wasn't sweet for our ears we killed HIM (and conitinue to do so with our daily sinful ways of living!!) and thought that we had done it - and yes we did - thru HIS death HE conquered sin and so now we have all been saved from eternal damnation!!!!

Also known as CMC.

"1. A second-tier liberal arts college."

--Well, I suppose if the 2nd tier starts at #10 nationwide according to US News & World Report, then I'm more than happy to be second-tier until the day I die! But honestly, who cares about rankings after high school? Once you hit college, it's all about who can get the most drunk before passing out.

"2. A college primarily attended by males who are sexual predators."

--And we still have the best-looking girls at the 5Cs. We're so good the chicks keep enrolling here, even if some of the guys have a rap sheet like Kobe's.

"3. A college with a campus resembling a motel."

--Which is exactly why North Quad is so damned fun! It's also because we try to keep our alcoholics in a more public place so that they don't drink alone all the time. I still do, but that's because of my unwavering dedication to self-improvement.

"4. A college obsessed with its inferiority to near-by rival institutions, a complex which often leads to meat-headed overcompensation by many students."

--You're confused. We arrived as meatheads, our dislike for the nearby rival institution being 100% independent thereof. You can have the #3 ranking because I don't give two shits, and when I'm drunk, in about two hours, I really won't give a shit.

"5. A college with an awesome and friendly exhibition chef."

--You're damn right.

CMC also has a pretty fierce rivalry with Pomona College, one of the schools adjacent to ...