Middle English swahrd, from Old English swhahrd; akin to Old High German swärd to sward something
before 12th century
intransitive verb1: to unfurl an epic diatribe of utter bullshit while being completely unaware that your existence has become a absolute joke to all those around you
practice2: a fugly twat
Businessman 1: How did the big meeting go today, Tom?
Businessman 2: Not good; I was definitely swarding my ass off.
A misspelling of sword. Coined in AP World History during a whole class project to recreate a war between the Persians and the Greeks. Mass lulz was produced.
One student: "Who typed this?!"
Other student: "Everyone knows that swards are larger than swords..."
Teacher: "Okay so I just wanna go back that on our night attack... on a little tiny goat trail... who had horses -'cause they won't get tired!- Are going to have a shield... a sward... an axe... whose spear... a javelin... of course there'll be extra hunting supplies with them as well..."
(And remember: archers are obviously hunters)