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a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005

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1. The act of taking your own life.

Simple enough
People who condemn suicide are only thinking of themselves. They expect all people to live the same hell they live. They don't believe people are in charge of their own lives, rather thinking that all people belong to god, society, other people, etc. Religion does not own you. Fuck religion. If you are suicidal, don't worry about "your family/friends," You're more likely to be stopped from suicide if you are not on a life insurance policy. Who cares? You'll be dead.
by istilldonthavaname June 06, 2007

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Starting on the base line, sprint to the free throw line, return to the base line, sprint to half court, return to the base line, sprint to the far free throw line, return to the base line, sprint to the far base line, and return to the base line.
We had to run 10 suicides during practice today since we lost our basketball game.
by Melissa Davis August 16, 2004

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Something not enough people see as a problem. Suicidal people are just people that forgot, that it's ok.. To need love
Person: I'm depressed
Society: You're overreacting
Person: i cut myself
Society: It's for attention
Person commits suicide
Society: We didn't see the signs
by FlipAClip November 27, 2016

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This is for when you're feeling brave and you go to a store (usually a convenience store like 7-11) and you use their fountain drink station to make a "suicide" which is basically a little bit of every single soda...in one cup. So delicious!!
"I can't decide whether I want a Cherry Coke or a Dr. Pepper or a Mountain Dew. Guess I'll make me a suicide".
by XmasJ November 20, 2013

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Something not enough people see as a problem. Suicidal people are just people that forgot, that it's ok.. To need love
Person: I'm depressed
Society: You're overreacting
Person: i cut myself
Society: It's for attention
Person commits suicide
Society: We didn't see the signs
by FlipAClip November 27, 2016

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People say suicide is something people do when they give up. That's not completely true. In Hindu culture, if you are not buried people believe you come back as a walking dead being, but your not a zombie. Your human, but yet not human. You don't have a soul. But you have till the age of 21 to find your soul until you die. But if you eat others souls, you will live longer. Suicide is a hard topic to cover. Though people think they know what it means. It's just when you have too negative of a outlook on life, so you think that you will come back as a "souless" being. Or others just want to plainly die.
The boy committed suicide because of the bullies at school.
by Bird12 April 05, 2015

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when you mix all the drinks at the soda fountain in your cup.
like coke, sprite, hi-c, lemonade, cherry coke, and whatever else drinks there are all together..
D wanted a suicide so he put all the drinks in his cup together!
by omgitsjessica May 15, 2010

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