a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005
I am not about to add anything new to this. Its not going to be anything that hasnt already been posted. If you think about it... there are possitives and negatives. You wont let yourself think about the negatives when your thinking about doing it yourself. But your not thinking about the possitives when you know/think you know someone who is planning on doing it. At that moment in time that person just wants to be left alone and to end everything wrong. Maybe im just taking sides. But I dont think anybody who actualy goes through with it did it for the attention. I am one of those people who wont talk about it. I would never ever bring it up. But when it comes up I will be dead silent. I dont want to dissapoint anybody... or hurt anyone. The only thing that is keeping me here is my "friend". Call me an idiot. I dont care. This is what I do instead... its not exactly a solution... but its better then full out killing yourself. cutting. Its something I can controle... it really helps. Sometimes you just need something your able to controle in your life. Before killing yourself... just try solution... ways around it...
"____ (insert name) did have it bad, but I sure wish she talked to someone... or atleast tried something less drastic."
by Megan June 05, 2004
A beverage you create when you mix together several sodas into one cup. You make these at places where you get your own drink. Often dr pepper, coke, root beer, and mellow yellow all mixed together. The taste depends on you.
It's a perfect day for a suicide at the local cafe!
by Zane222 June 22, 2011
The drink you get when you mix all the sodas, pops, juices, and teas on the soda fountain at a restaurant. It tastes great when done right. When you add too much of one drink it tastes like crap. The name suicide is based off of how much all the sugar and caffiene is in the drink. It's worth it though.
Guy: I'm getting Coke, what about you?

Friend: I'm getting Suicide

Guy: What's that?

Friend: Well according to the fountain at THIS restaurant: Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Hi-C Orange Lava Burst, Powerade, and Minute Maid Lemonade.

Guy: Shit
by I heart Michelle Phan :) November 21, 2009
1) The act of killing yourself, it can involve pills, hangings, firearms or anything else that is potentially 'dangerous'

2) What you'll hear if you fire at your feet with a rocket launcher on halo.

3) A very annoying hip-hop song.
1) Billy hated life, so he took a shotgun and blew his brains out.

2) SUICIDE!

3) I'm su-i-cidal, su-i-cidal su-i-cidal for you.
by Confucious August 29, 2007
Starting on the base line, sprint to the free throw line, return to the base line, sprint to half court, return to the base line, sprint to the far free throw line, return to the base line, sprint to the far base line, and return to the base line.
We had to run 10 suicides during practice today since we lost our basketball game.
by Melissa Davis August 16, 2004
1. The act of taking your own life.

Simple enough
People who condemn suicide are only thinking of themselves. They expect all people to live the same hell they live. They don't believe people are in charge of their own lives, rather thinking that all people belong to god, society, other people, etc. Religion does not own you. Fuck religion. If you are suicidal, don't worry about "your family/friends," You're more likely to be stopped from suicide if you are not on a life insurance policy. Who cares? You'll be dead.
by istilldonthavaname June 06, 2007
when you mix all the drinks at the soda fountain in your cup.
like coke, sprite, hi-c, lemonade, cherry coke, and whatever else drinks there are all together..
D wanted a suicide so he put all the drinks in his cup together!
by omgitsjessica May 15, 2010

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