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a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005

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A mixture of every fountain drink available in a medium cup.
"Hey, can you make me a suicide?"
"Whats a suicide?"
"Just put in a bit of every kind of soda you got in a medium cup."
by iTunes January 18, 2009

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Humans began to question why they existed in this seemingly endless area that we call the universe. Some people answered that question with religion, family, labor, and love – but others saw these only as ways of coping with an apparent lack of objective meaning and purpose. The people that found absolutely no purpose turned to suicide to end their emptiness – and continue to do so to this very day. Suicide exists as a response to societal illusions of goals and purpose, and not as the actions of deranged or sad individuals.
Society does not concern itself with the individuals that make up the whole, but rather that the whole functions. If society loses a large portion of its members to suicide, it will be unable to sustain itself.

Along with lack of meaning in the universe, suicide also correlates with an individual’s level of socialization. Individuals with low socialization realize that in the eyes of society, they do not mean anything. These people may not have jobs, families, or friends. They believe that whether or not they wake up the next day, the world will keep on turning. An individual with a high level of socialization becomes disillusioned with societal expectations that once kept him going. He can no longer cope with the pressure of the day to day routine of going to work, bonding with friends, and raising a family. He wants out; he wants to let someone else take his place, because he knows that he is absolutely replaceable.
I can no longer function in society with purpose, I may commit suicide
by RespondingToTheAbsurd March 12, 2015

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Lethal self destruction. It is not selfish by default--it is more selfish of those who demand you to stay. It is not necessarily a reaction to a temporary problem--some problems are permanent as well. Its not the only solution to most problems, but it is a potential solution to any problem. Choose with caution. And to all those self-righteous pissants who want to pat themselves on the back for condescending to spit a little pity at someone in hell via cliche judgments and over used sayings... don't condemn what you don't comprehend.
Me. Sometime suicide is the only answer after decades of decline and pain. Sometimes it doesnt get better.
by IceOrigami February 09, 2012

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Something people do after listening to Justin Bieber.
Listening to 1 of his songs and the taking your own life cause it sucks ass.
Kelly : Hey Terrance listen to this awesome song....
BANG!!!(see kids terrance commited Suicide cause of this ....thing )

Say no to shitty songs
by The OOSMN 1 June 04, 2010

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Life's version of rage-quitting.
"I'm gonna go jump off that cliff dude, ON PURPOSE!!"

"Naw dude, that' suicide!"
by iiToxicSX January 30, 2012

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A tasty pale brownish drink made by mixing together all of the available flavors of pop at a restaurant (except for water).
Although each suicide should be different, they all taste curiously similar.
by adam_f August 12, 2010

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Apart from killing yourself, a suicide is also when you mix two or more types of pop, cola, soda, or any type of soft drink. Some times it can be tasty, but other times it can taste like shit.
Coke Zero + Mountain Dew = suicide
by Lucky_Is_Sucky November 30, 2011

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