a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005
when no one else knows
guy 1: don't commit suicide!
guy 2: you will never understand
*pulls the trigger*
by arandomguy May 25, 2008
Dropping out of the middle of a race without seeing the wonderful things between there and the end.
My friend commited suicide and I miss him so.
by Angus the SuperDuck June 21, 2005
with only a small amount of weed left, suicides is taking a hit, holding the smoke in until the weed goes all the way around the circle and passed back to you. Then you exhale and hit it again, holding until you get the weed back.
The only way we're gonna get high with this little amount of weed left is to do suicides.
by jceanb00 December 05, 2006
when someone is so in over their head in life that they take their own life.
it's not selfish. anyone who says it is hasn't experienced anyone they're close to committing suicide.
when you're at the level of wanting to kill yourself, nothing can really help.
and when it's someone close to you, it's heartbreaking.
you wish you could have reached out more and blame so much on yourself when you really couldn't have done anything.
it's a terrible thing.
1: i can't believe he's gone.
2: i know. i wish i did more to help him.
1: don't stress over it. you couldn't do anything. suicide is just a horrible thig.
by r.i.p. rich <3 January 08, 2010
Suicide is not a joke AT ALL many people mock it and say "emo depressed fags" only commit suicide This got me pissed off to the max I had a bestfriend who I spent my whole life with ended her life...only god knows why...people who consider suicide or commit suicide do it because they most likely are in a living hell in which they can not anymore im not suicidal or even defending suicide all im saying is people should not mock suicide because it really does happen people dont threaten to commit suicide for attention or because there "fake" they do it because somebody or something was ruining there life...how fucking bad would you feel if you made fun or mocked a person threating to commit suicide ended up dead...youd feel like a scumbag...Moral of the story suicides real not just a thing people threaten to do for attention
Cathy commited suicide i had made fun of her because i thought she was seeking attention ill never be the same
A mixture of every fountain drink available in a medium cup.
"Hey, can you make me a suicide?"
"Whats a suicide?"
"Just put in a bit of every kind of soda you got in a medium cup."
by iTunes January 18, 2009
To end all misery and suffering when god gives u a shitty life!
What I'm about to do after this.

*Jumps off balcony*
by lifesux December 04, 2004
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