a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005
A word that has a similar reaction when uttered to that of "bomb" in an airport while you are in school.
Fuck you Prof. Won, I'm going to commit suicide.

Uh yoo need to com wit me and we fix yoo uh problems wiht counseler.
by K-Mart Shopper September 20, 2003
The solutions to all your problems and a way to tell people to back the fuck off.
Sara finally realized that through suicide comes no responsibility.
by Falling Star August 04, 2008
a way for someone to save them self.
he committed suicide, he's happier now.
by john8558 March 14, 2010
Suicide is not a cowardly act. It is an action many take to finally end the pain and suffering they are in. Don't get me wrong, suicide is an unfortunate thing, but wake up. It happens. It is not an easy thing to do, so those who fail at suicide are not to be mocked either. If one is feeling thoughts of suicide, a therapist may be sought out, but if some and many choose, suicide is an honorable path to take.
Ashley was so overwhelmed by the pain and suffering his life was filled with, that he unfortunately commit suicide in a last blaze of honor.
by XxAshleyxxScarletxxSkiesxX October 07, 2008
Suicide has always been considered a way of escaping your problems. The truth is, it's a way of escaping the CAUSE of your problems. It has been associated with emo in present years. In truth, not a lot of emos commit suicide. It's normal the quiet and shy people - people that you know, people who seem happy - that will be tempted to kill themselves. Depression can lead to suicide and people with suicidal thoughts should tell someone they love because it can only hurt people.
Girl: I feel like I want to commit suicide.
Boy: Sit down and let's talk.
by XxScenexxgirLxX February 17, 2009
What we call killing yourself. People who commit this have probably had a horrible life and/or were depressed.

In loving memory of:
Kurt from Nirvana
Wayne Whittemore, my uncle, and more importantly, my mother's brother. We'll never forget you.
THIS IS TRUE. THIS TOOK PLACE WHEN I WAS IN 2ND GRADE. NOW I AM IN 6TH. SHE WAS MY FRIEND, AND ALSO IN 2ND GRADE.
Suicide Talker=Sharon
Me=Jessica

Sharon: I'm gonna cut myself
Jessica: Why?
Sharon: No one likes me. I'll cut my eye open.
Jessica: That won't kill you!
Sharon: Then I'll stab all the way to my brain.

Sharon's mom is deaf, her sister is a druggy, and her brother is somewhere unknown. She lives with her grandparents. Her background reflects her actions. Luckily, because of me "tatling" on her to my mom and teacher, she is still alive today, unlike Wayne and Kurt...
by Young Gothic Rocker Chic November 26, 2005
Our most desperate and "last" resort to the conditions placed before us.
No other way is there...? Suicide will do.
by Searching... January 12, 2006

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