a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005
The act of taking one's own life. Sometimes the only option for people who suffer endlessly with emotional and/or physical pain. The Swiss suicide clinic, Dignitas, should be applauded for allowing people with terminal illnesses to easily and painlessly free themselves from their ongoing suffering. The clinic should also allow people with depression and other debilitating mental illnesses to die peacefully in the same way. At the end of the day, if a person really does not want to live in this world any longer, and if freedom really does exist, then that person should have the right to end their own life, without any kind of judgement or intervention from others.
He committed suicide to free himself from his unbearable emotional pain.
by Daniel Lalor January 07, 2007
A satisfactory alternative to a life of insurmountable failure, shame, grief, inferiority, and misery.

A permanent solution to a permanent problem.
I am incapable of living a remotely normal life due to personal handicaps our society refuses to recognize. How would you live life knowing that everyone hates you, and that no matter how much you try, you won't amount to jack shit in life? Simple: you wouldn't. That's why I'm considering suicide.
by greivingnow October 25, 2009
the worst possible sprinting drill. sprint to one cone, back. sprint to the first cone back and then to the second cone and back. sprint to the first cone, back, second cone, back, third cone, back and then so on til however many cones ur douche coach puts on the field
Coach- "you scrwed up on the field get two deep on the line and lets do some suicides!"
by bizcuitz April 20, 2009
Dispite our efforts, it is considered a final option that is available to many. Attempted by some (for an unfathomable number of reasons), and commited by many to cease a relentless pain. However, it is more painful to merely exist and endure your present situation then commit this act that is deemed "insideous" by the masses. In short, one commits this action once "coping" and sustaining forces are dwarfed by an incomprehensible amount of pain.
Jacob: "Hey buddy, what's up? How was your weekend"
Terry: "Fine..."
Jacob: "That's cool, see you later!"
Terry: (mutters) "To think I nearly committed suicide,... what does that fool know..."
*Anguish consumes Terry's being*
by Searching... January 12, 2006
Something which should not be joked about. Something which creates more than one victim.
Its easy to joke about suicide but think about who you may be hurting before you do it- some wounds never heal.
A family friend commited suicide and left his children behind. Its sad to think that something which took him a matter of minutes to do will affect his children every minute for the rest of their lives.
by princessjill August 02, 2005
Somthing I'd do, despite the fact I know it's stupid, if I had the nerve.
Life's a bitch and then you die. Why not shorten th suffering?
by Zach G. November 13, 2003
a mixture of all the drinks in the soda fountain in equal measure or leaning towards the one's you like most, kinda gross, lots of kids like them

I've also heard of it being like poor man's casserole where you take everything left in the fridge and mix it in a jug and drink, alcohol, soda, juice, no matter
That kid is drinking a suicide
by jeka November 14, 2004

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