a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005
The most popular thing amongst Generation Y thugs.
"Kurt Cobain is my idol. His suicide note is the holiest thing in existence. I have much affection for suicide. I love Linkin Park. I wish someone would kill me."
-some emo-kid
by Dave January 13, 2005
The result of smoking cigarittes/cigars/drugs/etc., overdrinking alcoholic beverages, dipping/chewing wet tobacco, overdosing on pills, and doing other similar things.
I'd rather keep myself on Earth than suiciding to Hell.
by frodaddy February 19, 2005
I don't really care about the selfishness of the act, but unless you have a good enough reason you should not commit suicide because if you do it means you're just a pussy who can't handle the realities of life. For example if a person has cancer and know that it is incurable and extremely painful they have a reason to commit suicide. But unless it is a certain circumstance like having a terminal illness or you're being horribly abused or mistreated, if you commit suicide it means you have the menatality of a little sheltered brat who is too lazy to solve their problems head on and instead just wants to run away from them.
Senior With Lung Cancer: Uh, I can't take life anymore everyday i'm in terrible pain I wish I could die and let all go away.

Me: poor old man, they should pull the plug so he can die peacefully rather than torturing him by keeping him hooked up to that machine.

Some Emo Kid: My girlfriend just broke up me and now i'm depressed I'm going to kill myself!

Me: You pussy, you're just like a baby still sucking at his momma's tits. Get over it, because that's life you're gonna have alot of people break your heart, but you need to be able to handle it. Plus you could just find another girlfriend once you get over the break up. You don't have a reason to commit suicide

by nathan676 May 08, 2008
Someone who wants to go to heaven/hell quicker. As youve seen people blowing eachother up in Iraq. Suicide bombers are stupid they cant even kill themselves properly. They have to kill others around them by blowing them up from thir fumes and fire. them Iraqui bombers couldnt bomb themselves up if it depended on their lives. Its exactly like saying to God you cant fire me I quit.
Suicidal Bomber 1: Where'd that bomb go?
Suicidal Bomber 2: Its on your head Sir.
Suicidal Bomber 1: Good. Have you got on yours?
Suicidal Bomber 2: Yup :)
Suicidal Bomber 1: It will blow up in 30 mins.

5 Mins Later......


BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


News: Iraq was blown up yesterday by two pathetic stupid suicidal bombers which were found dead with bombs on their heads.
by Da Miker May 31, 2005
A really cheap cry for help that is no longer used to escape depression or melancholy but used by surburban high school teens looking to enhance their self image and make themselves seem more emotional and deep so female emo girls can have someone to spill all their insecure emotions on.
I'm going to commit suicide tomorrow!

Why?

Because it's the cool thing to do, duh!
by rob ricksen February 24, 2006
The cowardly way to solve your problems. Most kids feel the should commit suicide at times, or actually are suicidal only because they are extremely depressed and can't look past the fact that life has its ups and downs.

Respect your loved ones
Get over it.
Jim: Hey man i think i wanna commit suicide.

Dave: Don't do that, you're probly depressed now man but you'll get over it.
by Speedmetal0789 November 29, 2005
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