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97.
a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005
 
8.
The quickest way to answer life's biggest question
God? Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation?
Unless my memories getting erased after, it's time to have suicide and find out!
by EdemaOmega September 10, 2005
 
9.
not something to be joked about. Suicide is a horrible, tragic thing, which people like "TheEye5000" and "Stephanie" obviously don't understand or haven't experienced. It doen't only happen with "emo freaks or goths". I'm not defending suicide, nor am I suicidal myself, but I have lost a friend to suicide and all of these previous posts mocking suicide and calling those who do it "weak", etc. makes me sick to my stomach. So, for the respect of all of those who have passed on due to this horrible thing called suicide, please refrain from acting like it is a joke, because it is definetly not.
All those who mock suicide or those who are suicidal make me want to throw up.
by anonymous March 12, 2005
 
10.
A good solution to life's problems, that won't go away. Tired of seeing dr. after dr. being treated for depression.
I tried to kill myself in 2002. It's no guarantee that I won't do it again.
by Saints November 20, 2004
 
11.
what people do when they start to fear life more than they fear death. After this point the only thing that will keep them alive is a feeling of responsibility (which is total bullshit) or lack of will-power
that kid that everybody picks on committed suicide
by Jimmy the Reaper August 18, 2006
 
12.
It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong once you are dead.
If you commit suicide nothing will matter anymore.
by semen_pants November 06, 2007
 
13.
The most sincere and socially responsible reaction to self-awareness.
You could endd it all, but you just don't have the guts.
by Killing Kittens January 17, 2005
 
14.
An act of killing yourself on purpose, mainly out of depression and despair.
suicide, a way to end suffering
by predeckis May 10, 2006