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97.
a very advisiable way to handle your problems, because no one loves you. according to maddox of www.maddox.xmission.com here are some reasons to commit suicide. in a handy checklist style of ten. if any apply to you........


1. Do you live at home but your parents are always making you clean your room and do your homework? It's a sure sign that they don't love you and that they want you to kill yourself. Why else would they make you clean your room? What are they going to do next, ground you? Make you wear braces? Don't kid yourself, the message is clear.

2. If you just got out of a bad relationship and you feel like things are never going to get better; you're right. Everyone knows that suicide is the only option, stop procrastinating. Look on the bright side, at least your ex will feel guilty for a couple of minutes--but don't count on it.

3. Depressed? Don't have any friends? I guess nobody told you, but being depressed and feeling lonely isn't normal. Everyone else is happy, and has lots of friends so there must be something wrong with you. Put the prozac away, what you need is rat poison.

4. Spill a drink at a party? Drop a plate of food in a restaurant? Nobody else has to live with that kind of embarrassment; you know what you have to do.

5. Flunked out of college? Don't know algebra? Here's a question you should know the answer to: Flunked out of college + Don't know algebra = Time for _____. Chances are you still don't know the answer, so here's a hint: it starts with an 's' and ends in 'uicide'.

6. Traffic jam? Sometimes bad luck isn't a coincidence. Do you really want to sit in traffic for another half hour? Look on the bright side, if you're a viking you'll be going to Valhalla. Then again, you're probably not, but eternal damnation in hell is probably the next best thing.

7. Telemarketers keep calling? It's easier to hang yourself than to get rid of a telemarketer, am I wrong? If you're lucky, Home Depot might be having a sale on rope. After all, you don't want to die letting people think you weren't frugal.

8. Flu? You realize that there's no cure for the flu, right? Well, no cure that doesn't involve painting the wall with your brains.

9. Flat tire? Do I have to spell it out for you?

10. College application get rejected? Take the hint.

Hope you found this guide helpful, mention it in your suicide note. On second thought, why bother? Nobody will read it.
maddox thinks you should commit suicide
by Johnny Richter February 20, 2005
 
1.
Your way to say to God "You can`t fire me! I quit!"
Georgie put the gun in her mouth and pressed the trigger
by Drow February 04, 2003
 
2.
People say suicide is selfish and cowardly. That's bullshit. It's more selfish to expect someone to go through life feeling like shit, just so you can keep them around because they make you happy or some shit. It is not they're duty to keep you happy whilst they go through hell, you fucking morons.
Someone decided their live was no longer living, so when they killed themselves, all the sensible people who loved them felt very sad, but realised that it would be selfish to expect them to go on living, just for their own pleasure.
by Oh Shit I'm Dead January 10, 2005
 
3.
Something which should always be the LAST item on your to-do list.
by Anonymous June 15, 2003
 
4.
An act which, despite its distaste to many people, is not to be judged. The most notable of the outcomes is the death of the practitioner - however there are other things to consider. It could be done to prove a point, to end personal suffering, or in other extreme circumstances. Consider, for instance, if one had cancer and knew it to be both incurable and excruciatingly painful - and to make things even simpler this person eighty four years of age - suicide would be justified and probably not looked down on. Many who commit suicide may look on their death as a sort of martyrdom (whether it be a delusion of grandeur or realistic is not my place to decide) and believe that it will prove a point. Then there are those who make what many consider to be a mistake and do it in a fit of passion or rage. As I said earlier, though, it is an action that is not to be judged by the living (or in my mind, by anyone). It is a matter of personal decision as to what is best for ther person considering it. While many would say it is an act of selfishness because of the supposed depression it inflicts on others, one might also question what debt we carry to others? Does meeting someone mean that I must live for their happiness? While it is a selfish act in the truest sense of the phrase - an act carried out in self interest - I would contend that this isn't something to condemn as our bashing of it would be in our own self interest. It is an act of self-indulgent hypocrisy to require someone to live through their sadness because we want to limit our own.
Similarly, one who is considering the act should consider others. Other than in the instance of proving a point, it should be done discreetly and not in an overly dramatic fashion so as not to cause others undue or excess pain. As someone who has considered it many times in the past, I have thought it through very thoroughly, and while some may consider suicidal thoughts a sign of depression I would like to note that it has always cheered me up in my moments of despair as it reminds me of my impermanence and that my troubles will all be over one day. It has allowed me to cope. I speak, mind you, not only as the "melodramatic self-piteous emo goth freak" but also as someone who has been on the other end.
Most notably, one should consider just how irrevocable the act is.
1. My elderly neighbor commited suicide three years ago, and now his suffering is at an end.
2. A friend of the family took a bottle of pills and commited suicide, in a moment of regret she left an appology.
3. Suicide, like many other things, is not ours to judge as right or wrong - but the decision should be weighed heavily.

p.s. saying to god, "you can't fire me, I quit!" lol - that was a good one.
by Theoutsider April 30, 2005
 
5.
A simple and efficient way of dealing with all of life's problems.
Just commit suicide, and you'll never be unhappy again.
by Anonymous May 27, 2003
 
6.
---Suicide is NOT the cowards way out. If you commit suicide it doesn't mean that you are a weak or bad person. Everybody encounters problems during their lives that may make their lives hard. But it's not how bad these problems are that matters, it's how the individual knows to handle these problems. Some people can't see a way out other than suicide but that doesn't, in any way, make them a weak or lesser person. It only shows that they haven't been taught how to handle their problems in any better way. And that is not their fault.

---Never ignore somebody if they start to talk about ending their life. Most of the time it is NOT for attention. Most of the time it is a cry for help. They are asking for somebody to show that they care. They aren't doing it to be called a poser or stupid or an attention-seeker or any other shit like that. They're saying it because they actually DO want to end it...they do actually feel the need to die. And if you just ignore them, how are you going to feel when you find out that they're dead? Think about it...just try to help the individual as much as you can.

---Suicide is NOT a selfish act. You all say that they're leaving their loved ones behind and hurting them, but that really only makes you selfish. How can you expect this person to continue living through all the pain that their life is giving them? To go through the feeling of being invisible, like they have no one to confide in? To go through feeling like everybody that once loved them has now abandoned them? And to go through feeling that everyday the walls are closing in on them and that everyday they are sinking further and further into despair? Into loneliness and heartache? How on earth can you expect someone to live with that all the time, just to keep everybody else happy? It's not like it's their duty to make everyone happy. So stop being selfish yourself and think of the individual for once.

---Don't think that suicidal people don't care about you. One of the common reasons for suicide is that the individual doesn't want to hurt their loved ones anymore. And though they know that suicide may hurt their loved ones, it stops the individual from ever hurting them again. Better once than a million more times. And deep down inside, the individual probably does know that people do care, but they just can't believe that when they're feeling so down and out. It's just hard to think that people care about you when you feel that they never seem to show it and they never seem to be there when you need them most.

---If you are someone who believes in fate and God and you believe that everybody has a particular time to die made for them, then you should also believe, as sad and horrible as it may be, that suicide is meant to happen. Perhaps the individual is actually MEANT to die at this time and it just so happens that suicide is the way they die?
I really don't know...I'm just putting down my opinion. I hope it helps at least one person out there.

---This definition wasn't intended to encourage people to commit suicide, I am merely hoping that it will help everybody else to understand a bit more about suicide and why people commit it.
Commiting suicide does not make you weak. Or selfish.
by Yahni.. February 20, 2006
 
7.
1) The act of taking one's own life. 2) An ill-advised act causing irrevocable harm to one's reputation: political suicide, social suicide, intellectual suicide.
Comparing rape to bad traffic would be considered political suicide, especially considering women are consistently swing voters.
by LudwigVan November 11, 2003