When an innocent
soul is seduced into the realm of a
succubus, they have acquired succubitis. Their lives get taken over by their bitchy, controlling girlfriends. The longer they are involved with the succubus, the more extreme their case becomes.
Side affects include: loss of rational thought, extreme mood swings, raging emotions, broken electronic devices.
1. Oftentimes, succubus' prey on groups of guys that are friends. If your
friend has a girlfriend and all of a sudden she changes her mind and comes for you, run. She is clearly a succubus coming for your
soul.
2. if she is a butterface. If she had a nice face, she wouldn't need to prey on innocent souls to find a
man. Despite your interest in her curves, avoid the succubus at all costs.
3. if she has no friends. AKA, friendless. A succubus is always desperate for that special one to talk to 24/7, as she has no real friends in her life.
4. if she seems too perfect. For many men, this is what really gets them. If she has season tickets to your favorite sports team, has a killer house, and likes to have
sex all the
time, then you know she is a succubus. Despite your instinct to keep her around for the
extra benefits, it
will hurt you in the end. badly.
Friend 1: Look at
Will, he's got a new girl.
Friend 2: Yeah, I know who she is. she's got the succubus signs.
Friend: O shit, we better get him away before he catches succubitis.
{playing of "you belong with me" backwards followed by a loud scream.}
Will: Thanks you guys, she almost got me there.
