The ultimate home alone jerk when your lady isn't home. A carefully planned out masturbation session in an empty house that includes ordering the perfect sub on your way home from work to make sure you have enough energy to stroke one out.
Mitch had the perfect night planned. The wife was out with the girls and she thought he was going Christmas shopping, but what he really had planned was a sub tug. He got a steak bomb and some astroglide on his way home and then tried to rip the head off his junk before the wife got home.