| 1. | hash mark | ||
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Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print. Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised. Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say. Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here? Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast. Fellow- I thought you said I was your first! Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself. Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God! |
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| 2. | Parkes | ||
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An organism which travels at very slow velocity.
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The limit of a function that describes the velocity at which the organism can traverse from point A to point B, as time approaches infinity. In most cases the organism won't even reach point B. As the function of the organism approaches infinity, it will intersect many normal human organisms traversing at a much higher velocities, and reaching point B before the organism. Biological studies have been done on the organism to find out why it cannot travel faster, often by dissecting it. However this method is extremely hard, as the organism contains a multi layer of lipids surrounding its body. Scientific results show that usually the organism tends to expire before it reaches its destination, and needs more oxygen to walk faster. Chemical studies have tried to calculate this amount of oxygen in moles, assuming at first, that the organism was like most other species that live on earth, but it was found that even the most advanced and efficient computers are not able to computate such a high number. Thermodynamic experts, who are aware of the fact that the universe will ultimately end in a state of equilibrium due to entropy, predict that the number of years that the universe will have to live will be much less ever since this organism has come about into the world. Alien theorists like to use this organism to prove their ideas that aliens do indeed exist on Earth, but their proofs are unable to explain th... |
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| 3. | naval lint | ||
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The fluff or lint that you get in your belly button, Always blue in colour regardless of t-shirt/shirt colour.
There are many theories on this topic, One being that the colour of the lint is in correlation with the colour of garment you are wearing at the time. This is NOT true, if you see photographs of different coloured lint, they have been photoshopped or Paint shop pro'd (depending on which you prefer, Lesser minded people usually prefer Paint shop pro studies have been done). person 1) OMG I have pink naval lint in my belly button. . .
person 2) Dude no you don't, it has to be blue. Person 1) Yep it does, I photoshoped this, harhar har. . .. |
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| 4. | gay agenda | ||
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The term coined by christian radicals but later redefined by the homosexual community themselves.
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The gay agenda is not a written law, a set of previously debated and agreed-upon long-term goals or an insidious plan. Denying the existence of a set of goals, especially for the gay community that quite openly strives for tolerance is no less hypocritical than claiming homosexuals are out in a mission to convert all straights. As every group the LGBT community has it's goals, it's vision of the future and is realizing it. There is no question as to if the infamous "gay agenda" exists, but what are the points most LGBT members agree on. The first and most obvious point of the gay agenda is spreading tolerance and ideas of equality. However a more detailed and more deliberate plan can be read in, for example, "The Overhauling of Straight America" 1: TALK ABOUT GAYS AND GAYNESS AS LOUDLY AND AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. 2: PORTRAY GAYS AS VICTIMS, NOT AS AGGRESSIVE CHALLENGERS. 3: GIVE PROTECTORS A JUST CAUSE. 4: MAKE GAYS LOOK GOOD. 5: MAKE THE VICTIMIZERS LOOK BAD. 6: SOLICIT FUNDS: THE BUCK STOPS HERE 7: GETTING ON THE AIR As the LGBT forms a loose comunity there is no law, an agenda in the legal sense and there will always be individuals who may not agree. And while finding individual homosexuals who claim not to follow any such guidelines is quite easy, looking at the changes that have already happened during the past decade it is clear that the above... |
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| 5. | Wafflehouseaholic | ||
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1. Any person that has an addiction and consistently craves eating at the restaurant Waffle House. Many studies have been done, but none have found a cure to this incredible-tasting addiction. Kristin: Hey Matt, do you want to go to Waffle House!
Matt: Of course, Kristin! This'll be my 5th time to eat there this week. Kristin: Why Matt! I didn't realize you were such a Wafflehouseaholic! |
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| 6. | Twilight | ||
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A popular book about True Love and 'vegetarian'Vampires by Stephanie Meyer. It is commonly agreed as lacking any literary skill, from prose to characters to plot. This does not stop girls the world over (and according to statistics that may be lies, a lesser amount of boys) from liking it.
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Like all popular things the loudest fans are the most annoying ones (in this case girls demanding the world over recognize Edward Cullen as hotness) and sadly make the rest of the fans who'd like to just enjoy a bad book (much like people enjoy Jerry Springer) look like raving psychos by association. Twilight managed to fill the void of Harry Potter for a short amount of time (much to the anger of Harry Potter fans and as so says the literary bible, 'lo, there was much bitching'). Now the literary world is left wondering what next will catch the eye of teens the world over and become so popular that even those who like to claim illiteracy to get out of responsiblity towards school, ... |
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| 7. | Nu metal | ||
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A form of false metal that emerged from the mainstream and into the CD players of trendy kids everywhere during the mid nineties. Contrary to the name, Nu metal is not and has no relation to metal music. The term "Nu metal" was given to the genre by the likes of MTV who are 100% clueless to anything having to do with metal.
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The componenets of a new metal band are as follows: 1. Guitarists who cannot play at all and literally just picked up the instrument. They play very downtuned guitars and 90% of the time they make "riffs" using an open string and the first fret. Occasionally they might use the 3rd or 4th fret but rarley does this happen. 2. The vocalists usually raps or "screams" like a little bitch. The lyrics tend to be about teen angst, wanting to die, cutting yourself, being a loser, hating your parents or simply just being a faggot. At no time whatsoever is any manliness or dignity permitted in nu metal lyrics. 3. The drummers are completely talentless. 4. They dress like transvestites, goth fags, with body paint or wear masks. At no point can the nu metal attire be in any way intimidating. You typical nu metal band consists of five members none of which look as though they could bench press more than 70 lbs. They must look sad, emo and depressed in pictures or make a sad attempt at looking angry. At all times they must look hilarious. Examples of Nu metal bands are as follows: Korn, System of a down, POD, Linkin park, Limp bizkit, 40 below sum... |
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