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The word "stoner" is commonly used to describe someone who smokes marijuana or hash on a regular basis. Stoners consider themselves to be friendly, fun-loving, non-judgemental, and harmless. Rarely mentioned, however, is how lazy, worthless, annoying, flakey, boring and unproductive a good 95% of them are. A common phrase used among stoners is "I don't need weed to have fun", yet strangely you never see them go a day without it.

Stoners, in their "enlightened" state, are the first to speak out against controversial issues and injustices but the very last to ever lift a finger over it. Most (but not all) tend to resemble the character Shaggy from the cartoon show Scooby Doo in either looks or general behaviour. A stoner will tell you how great a sense of humor he has, but usually laughs at things that are not truly that funny in a sober state of mind.

When confronted about their overall worthlessness, stoners vehemently deny that smoking weed makes them losers or hinders success in life. While some successful people DO indeed smoke marijuana, they are usually not actually stoners, meaning they partake only occassionaly and not as a lifestyle. The few stoners who ARE successful and live fulfilling lives are a rare breed, and not truly representative of what it is to be a stoner. Unbeknownst to them, there is a difference between a pot smoker and a full-out stoner.

If you are a stoner, you should be ashamed of yourself and extinguish your joint on your own exposed flesh immediately. Aim higher, get a girlfriend, find a new hobby, and get a decent job. Then when you discover better things in life, you'll finally figure out why everyone looked down on you.
Stoners believe that smoking weed likens them to famous figures such as Jimi Hendrix, 50 Cent, Ali G, Johnny Knoxville, Bill Clinton, Cheech & Chong and Bob Marley. Guess what? It doesn't.
by Chernorizets Hrabr October 18, 2006
some guy who sits there, does jack all. Mumbles and groans at anything. Is possibly constantly stoned. In his own world all the time, doesnt appreciate the legendary sandwiggy brought up by the y-ratt then the brookstar and also most likely hated by coop
"callum ur a little stoner fuck, get on with your work!"
by Loz and the Y-ratt February 15, 2005
A stoner is a fucking idiot whose memory is no better than a goldfish. never trust or count on a stoner to do anything cause they sure as hell aint going to remember to do it. and dont even bother trying to help or teach them anything cause they dont have a learning curve. stoners are fucking losers who cant deal with lifes problems without being blazed out of there mind.
you'll have a conversation with the stoner at work and the next day theyll bring up the same dumb shit you had just talked about 12 hours earlier having tottally forgot they ever had the conversation in the first place.
by n.bishop November 15, 2006
People, who have very little values, character traits, or self-respect. They are generally less able to make a success of themselves, since they spend most of their time and resources either purchasing a substance, sitting on a couch high for a temporary amount of time, or actually bragging about being high. When they get older and mature, they realize how much time and money they've wasted in order to have unhealthy lungs, bad memory, a criminal record, difficulty getting a job, and lack of muscle tone due to physical inactivity. On the other hand, people who become involved in weightlifting, sports, and other productive activities are known to have healthier minds and bodies, leading to self-confidence, self-discipline, women, and six figure salaries. Drug users tend to live in Ghettos or trailers, using their welfare money that comes from ambitious people's tax money to pay for marijuana, alcohol, ramen noodles, attire from Walmart, satellite TV, and the newest rap album which coincidentally has lyrics promoting their pathetic lifestyle. Why do you think drug use and crime is a problem in the urban, low class areas opposed to wealthy, suburban areas?
Jim sits around and smokes pot all day, being a typical Stoner, while Joe is working out, wrestling, playing golf and working hard for good grades. Joe ends up becoming a man, driving a Mercedes-Benz, marrying a woman who isn't a fat piece of trash and having a longer life. Jim ends up living in an apartment complex, and becomes dependent on government food stamps for the rest of his life. Hes basically a woman.
by B from NC May 26, 2008
someone who smokes weed almost every day, but they arent a pothead yet.
what i used to be :)
by kourtney June 28, 2004
Someone who smokes weed all the time, and is so stoned all the time that they are unaware of their surroundings. The person is liable to smoke up to 4 joints a day, and things that are done in the house are always gone un-noticed. A stoner can sometimes forget where he is or what he is doing and can leave lights on, doors open, taps running and the heating on all night.
For fuck sake, the stupid git left on the lights in the hall, the kitchen, the bathroom, left the heating on, and left the tap running. I'll give him 5 years and he'll be dead from smoking that shit everyday, the stupid smelly Dog.
by Dog March 05, 2004
anyone who prefers a work free, drug place
those dready, dirty, smelly, hippie stoners over there
by Johnny Griptape September 29, 2006