Statuatory Crush 

A feeling of sexual desire for someone with whom sex would be considered statutory rape.

Eric had a statuatory crush on our hot English teacher.

Statuatory Crush by aweeze November 20, 2009

statuatory rape 

Consentual sex with a minor.

Yeah, she WANTED to have sex with you, butt, she's only 15. If word gets around, you could go to prison for statuatory rape you fucktard!

statuatory rape by Sex Ed December 1, 2006

Statuatory Vape 

When people vape close by you without your consent because they believe it's completely safe.

"Curtis just TOTALLY statuatory vaped me. "

"I know...they haven't even done proper studies on that stuff yet but he thinks it perfectly safe"

Statuatory Vape by greggers33 July 24, 2015

statuatory ape 

he'll kill. end of story.

hey dawg, that shit is totally 100% alabama statuatory ape!

dude, i got that statuatory ape all over my taco.

statuatory ape by bucnasty. April 29, 2010

Statuatory Dap 

The unconsentual dapping of a minor

"That guy that moved in next door was charged with Statuatory Dap last year"
''Oh geez what a maniac"

Statuatory Dap by Golden Handles445 May 23, 2022

statutory apeshit 

statutory ape + apeshit

1) A primal rage induced by the insanity of bureaucratic procedures, social-political injustice, or "legalized" oppression.

2) A collapse of an institution to total anarchy; A failure to bring/maintain any control or order.

1) After spending all week at the licensing offices just to get a permit to apply for a license to grant permission to let my son cut my lawn, I'm ready to go statutory apeshit!

2) When they lost the procedural manuals, the company went statutory apeshit and then went out of business.

statutory apeshit by Man-Machine June 25, 2008

Spatulatory Rape 

the common act of using a spatula while cooking to enter into something and/or separate it from sticking or to stir some mixture until the correct consistency is acquired for further steps in the cooking process, without the permission of inanimate objects because inanimate objects can't consent

OR

to use the handle end of a spatula as a dildo without permission, often in place of using one's one penis or strap-on for a number of illogical reasons

Lucy: The only sex around here before eight is spatulatory rape, and that's only when I cook.

Mary: That's disappointing. You need to remind Joe of his Seduciary Responsibility .

OR

Lucy: Oh! Yeah! Like that! Wait, what do I feel?

Joe: I heard from Mary's husband Bob that you like spatulatory rape, so I'm using the spatula instead since you like it so much.

Spatulatory Rape by Perry Winnwet January 23, 2010