(n.) a heterosexual woman who chooses to marry a flamboyantly homosexual man out of some misplaced notion that acquiring the status of "wife" is worth living a loveless, sexless lie.
(v.) to luxuriate in the delusion that entering in a marriage, as described above, makes other people envy your good fortune, when they are actually laughing their asses off.
Why are you so surprised that Maurice will tease out your wigs but won't play with your titties? Girl, you are star jonesin!!!! You better annul this mess, before he runs off with your shoes.