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1.
An internal cumshot: when the penis has ejaculated semen inside the vagina and is about to be (or is) oozing out of the orifice. Often referred to as a creampie. I'd think twice—or maybe ask very nicely—if any café had either that or the spunk brûlée desserts on offer…hmm…not on the cake shelf, but one of the waiters may find me one out the back or help me make one…
Ingredients for Spunk Brûlée:
-1 Custard gun, loaded with man paste
-1 Hair pie base
-Fuck butter (self-saucing) to rub

Method:
Take the custard gun, ensuring it is well charged with man paste and place it, initially gently, into hair pie base and massage in a light back-and-forth motion. Gradually allow fuck butter to undertake self-saucing action during this movement. Gradually increase speed of back-and forth motion, but do not rush through this—take plenty of time, as satisfaction will then be likely. Once sufficiently stirred, then release trigger of custard gun towards base of hair pie. Once contents have been disgorged, remove. Can be completed by either allowing to set in oven or alternately, can be slowly tipped out of pie, providing an attractive drip glaze finish. Can be optionally accompanied with snowballs for a shared dessert delight.

Enjoy ; )
by Bag O'Turnips April 14, 2008