The pen name of Bill Simmons, a regular columnist in the Page 2 section of ESPN: the Magazine and also the network's website. Simmons is a die-hard Boston fan of every sport and now feels his life is complete since the Red Sox won a World Series in his lifetime.
You can find the Sports Guy on Page 2., which is probably more like Page 8, but that's how they named the section of the magazine.
"Sports Guy" thinks that he is a great athlete in his chosen sport. For example, he plays every pick-up basketball game as if it was the NBA playoffs. The reality is that he got no game!
Listen, loser, this is a company softball game, not the World Series. Of course we want to win, but in the grand scheme of things THIS GAME DOES NOT MATTER! Don't give yourself a heart attack worrying about it. And anyway, my 82-year-old grandmother got a better batting average than you, loser!
A man in his mid-20's to late-30's who believes that he could play pro sports even though he got no skills! Consequently, plays a pick-up game of flag football as if it was the friggin' Superbowl and usually ends up injured.
Dude, I could totally be playin' in the NFL righ now if my high school football coach didn't hate me. The guy new I was the best running back in the league and he resented me. That's why I never got any game time.
A man who believes that he would be playing in Major League Baseball, the NFL, the NBA or the NHL if his high school's varsity coach didn't bench him. There are two errors with sports guy's thinking. First, a coach at any level (include the high school varsity team) won't jeopardize his team's chances of winning by NOT playing his best players. Second, sports guy was always a mediocre athlete and his skills diminished as he got older. Sports guy's chances of playing professional sports is less than my chances of dating Heidi Klum!