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1. spoon-lap
Do you know these situations when you’re just really bored and all you can think of doing is going into the kitchen searching for something tasty to at although you aren’t hungry at all?

These situations often cause people to do a spoon-lap. A spoon-lap is a quick round through the whole kitchen (or any other place you store food) where you just eat bits of various foods which don’t need preparation in a random order not paying attention to whether it is sweet, salty or sour or whatever flavour…

These situations mostly occur when you’re home alone or your TV-program is on commercial.

It’s called spoon-lap because most of the popular things you just grab or eat/drink out of their can/jar/bag/carton are consumed best with a spoon.

Popular spoon-lap foods: peanut butter yoghurts, Nutella, lasagne and other noodle-dishes, leftovers in general, granola, canned fruits, milk, pie, preserves and pickled stuff…

You of course don’t clean your spoon between dumping it in to different food stuff…
a Is Jake home?
b You gotta look for him upstairs - he’s about to complete his third spoon-lap

I just did a great spoon lap! I had a pickle, some of my favourite yoghurt, a bit of the macaroni-with-cheese-left-over from today’s lunch, some cereals and then I scoped out the freezer…man, I didn’t know that we had this delicious raspberry ice cream!!!
2. Spoop
When one person (the little spoon) defecates into the lap of another (the big spoon) while engaging in the act of spooning.
Big Pete immediately vomited after some fat chick spooped in his lap.
3. Shrimpooning
To spoon and suck on ones toes. Sitting in partners lap cuddling while the person in the front is sucking on the person in the back's toes. It is a great way to cuddle and be sexy at the same time.
Guy 1:"So what did you and your girlfriend do last night?"
Guy 2: "We were shrimpooning for a couple hours, she was so comfty in my lap, and she tickled my toes at the same time!!"
Guy 1: "Wow that sounds amazing! I need to do that with my girlfriend!!"
4. xbox sex
Sex while parents are home. Stealth fucking him reverse cowgirl seated under cover of playing xbox. For extended unobserved periods easily transition to anal spoon position with fast recovery to gaming. Requires second controller and rapid refractory.

Score points by number of sequential orgasms, minutes of uninterrupted stroking, noise level, staying hard during parental interruption, speed of remount, jizz volume, fingering her while mounted while playing actual xbox game, blowjob to keep him hard, both talking dirty into gaming headsets.

Lose points for masturbating to get hard, premature ejaculation, penetration fumble, dying in game by pleasure distraction, not maintaining pumping rhythm while playing xbox game, sex noise that attracts attention, soft after jizzing, not bearing down on penis, farting during anal spoon, not keeping his penis hard while in stealth.
For best results gal should have crotchless shorts with fabric flap and guy should have fly without harsh zipper teeth. Guy seated on floor slouched legs extended towards xbox, gal seated in lap facing xbox. When parents not looking gal mounts penis out fly reverse cowgirl seated. Xbox sex puts her in control except max penetration depth when stealth seated.

xbox sex is not ideal with puberty dick. Magnul XL girth and length preferred for her pleasure with minimum motions especially ribbed or many veins. Seven'' length by five and a half'' girth any less is short or skinny or both. Go soft for stealth unmount after either orgasm or surprise parental visit mid stroke.

Both lean over to anal spoon from xbox sex with heads towards door or parental observation direction for counter-surveillance switching to anal orifice as cum receptacle.Better than average length makes position transition
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5. chamcha
A word in Hindi, literal translation being a spoon, but a slang for an ass kisser. Some one who has no mind, no thoughts, no thinking of his/her own. Some one who only keeps licking other's feet or ass. A pathetic species of a human being, which i would not want some one to become.

They are not like minded people. They will simply parrot whatever you say. They prefer to hang out with the richest or the most powerful person. Avoid company of intelligent people.

They are not true supporters, rather they mislead you with sugar coated lies, instead of giving you a true picture.

Other names for chamchas: ass kissers, pet poodles.
Rich and powerful Guy: I wanted to be a doctor, but did not have the required marks.

Chamcha: Oh Sir, how bad, they missed a wonderful Doctor like you. We must protest this with the university authorities.
6. faggots and peas
Not a description of a gay gangbang involving watersports, but a tasty meal, very popular in Wales, consisting of a large meatball (the faggot), served with processed peas (not too mushy!) and topped with a thin gravy. Typically served in a bowl and best enjoyed with a spoon to lap up the tasty juices.

Very tasty fare to enjoy after a rugby game (there are still faggots and peas vendors in larger towns in Wales) but of course faggots and peas are also eaten at home.

Sadly these traditional delights are becoming less common with the preponderance of standardised, homogenised fast food establishments such as McDonalds, Burger King and KFC.
"Hey boyo, I'm starvin' after watching Wales hammer those English bastards in the rugby! Let's have a bowl of faggots and peas and down twenty pints of Felinfoel Double Dragon Bitter!"
by w00fdawg Sep 19, 2005 add a video
7. The Slow Climb
From the cosmo website:

" You'll never see missionary position the same way again. "While on your back, put a pillow under your butt, lift your hips, and bring your legs up and back toward your shoulders, as though you're folding in half," says Solot. This move allows him better ease of thrusting and deeper penetration — a perk for both of you. Plus, it can stimulate your G-spot. But consider this a warm-up — you're getting the zone primed for a more intense orgasm. Once your G-spot feels sufficiently stroked, put your legs down and have him get into coital-alignment-technique (CAT) position. "He's on top, but he lifts his pelvic bone upward, aligning it with your clitoris," says sex therapist Gloria Brame, PhD. "Then he rocks against the area until you peak." "The legs-up position is a slow burn that brings you to the brink and increases sensitivity. Then the addition of clitoral rubbing takes you over the edge in a bigger way than if you had done CAT alone," adds Brame. "

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/sex/your-orgasm-guaranteed-2
Even though the slow climb is a sex position from the cosmo website, it can really help us guys out...
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