tele-spankin' the monkey 

Term for when IT or sales staff "work from home" three days per week.

You can't get any fuckin' thing done around here because those support pukes are tele-spankin' the monkey.

tele-spankin' the monkey by Three Beers April 10, 2009

spankin the monkey 

Beating yo meat like its dead

Yeah eric was spankin the monkey last night

spankin the monkey by Tarp Flarp Master February 27, 2017

Eastern Monkey Spanking 

The act of slipping your hand inside of her Asscrack and wobbling it all around until she takes a massive shit on your hand.

Jenna: Daddy Eastern Monkey Spank me!
Tom: Hold on Sommer Ray posted a booty pic!
Jenna: Fine all come to you

Tom: Eastern Monkey spank me first!
Jenna: You FAGWAG!
That is eastern Monkey spanking

Eastern Monkey Spanking by Meditation Papi March 14, 2019

spanking the monkey 

waxing the carrot, choking the bishop, jacking the beanstock, yankee-ing the doodle,peting the one eyed wonder weasel, waxing the wood, caulking the cracks, jacking off, wanking.

"Oh dear jebus, jimmy is spanking the monkey in class!!!"

spanking the monkey by bhrome April 6, 2004

spanking the monkey 

Taking things in to your own hand or a hand trusted by you.

I woke up last night and found my monkey standing up. I spanked him and he went back to sleep.

spanking the monkey by David October 27, 2003

spanking the monkey 

masturbating

"I wanna spank the monkey"

spanking the monkey by C-dawgg January 19, 2003

spanking your monkey

jacking off

my brother was spanking his monkey while he was watching porn

spanking your monkey by kitty February 24, 2004