me: at home.
Girlfriend: why didn't you answer my calls?
me: my phone was dead.
girlfriend: well why didn't you call?
Me: damn! what the hell is this??? the Spanish inquisition???
2) What nobody expects.
torture as poking with soft cushions and forcible seating in a comfy chair.
• the man ejaculates inside the woman just before she is about to orgasm
• then unexpectedly performs oral sex to finish her off
• finally, shouts "nobody expects the spanish inquisition!"
He felt guilty about finishing before she did, so he made amends by performing the Spanish Inquisition.
Man: <performs the spanish inquisition>
Woman: wow, well, i certainly didn't expect that
Man: nobody expects the spanish inquisition!