Top Definition
One who uses his left hand to jack, whack, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior or in other words, MASTURBATE!

A lefty, per say

May be a person that writes, hits, or even smokes with his right hand but gallops the old lizzard with his left hand.

Also referred to as an S.P.M.P.
Kristine: So I used my teloscope last night and looked into Ray's window. Did you know that he is a South Paw Monkey Spanker?

Derek: So I applied for this new job at the Home Depot, and my boss wanted to know if I was an S.P.M.P. and I'm all wtf? On occasion, though, I do, do the five kunckle shuffle with 'ol Lefty!

Janet: Hey Bobby?
Bobby: Yes Janet?
Janet: Do you participate in genital stimulation via phallengetic motion with your left hand?
Bobby: Why yes, I am an S.P.M.P.!
by Emas Diez April 27, 2006

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